Welcoming 2022

Hello, 2022 .. although I am fully aware that January is almost came to the end. Despite my in-activeness (is that even a word?) in this blog, I'm happy to announce to you that I'm finished with my semester 7 degree, and my final year project is done after I submitted my full report to my supervisor. I almost teared up when writing the acknowledgment, the last few weeks I was laughing at Iem for being emotional and now here come my turns. 'Hidup ni bagaikan roda' is a true phrase guys. Ahh I had a lot to share and I don't know which one. Maybe I will start with my personal life a bit? okay, last year was major for me, 2021 really concludes, focus on yourself and never trust anyone. I had to cut several people in my life including the one that you guys cannot expect but hey, every day brings suprise to me okay? All I had to say is, if someone is sincere to friend with you, he or she will never doubt your honesty... I mean, do you need to conclude or overthink about your own friend who tried to warn you about strangers? Anyways, I don't take it to my heart, I just blocked it away. I don't need any explanation anymore, their action is just enough for me to understand this whole situation... I meant.. this fcked up situation that I need to stay away from. 

For 2022, keep your circle small and just be friends with someone who has that quality. Quality over quantity besties. 

2021 really brought out my inner psychotic girl in me when.. let's go straight to the point. I caught him, yeah the guy that I talked about in a past post while he was busy fishing crab. Sounds funny but that's what happened :')

happy kan beliau? not knowing he's gonna be dead kena psiko lagi dua hari

Dah la that day first time we met after he signed off. I can't ever forget the way that it felt, the feeling of being betrayed, etc, but the psycho in me just laugh it off and I continued layan him until he went back. Long short story, we are already in the good term, yes.. after 5 rounds of me psycho-ing him tepi longkang depan bukit 300 while Iem holding my bag and water bottle and Badrul vaping behind me.

Manage to cope with anger issues by torturing myself by hiking.

Not just that, it's becoming my routine to ungkit that thing back once a week. Maybe he was fcked up with me that he brought me jalan-jalan to Ipoh and watched movies including making up his mistake by taking me to Aquaria. Do you know why I'm on fire? He really brought that bij to watch movies and freaking Aquaria which is my wishlist?!?! I need to find one person extra so I can remake that one 'itu impianku mas?!?!' scene. I hate that week, I really shut myself down for 2 days and finally, I agreed to take a walk with Iem finding new coffee spot. 

Iced Latte for me, milk for iem

That night really boosted my confidence. Now, I don't feel insecure anymore, why? because no one can compete in my league okay? Got it?  No one can be me. I am grateful for having my friends as my support system or else, I'll continue bawling my eyes out for a bij that wears a skirt who's taking a pic with the alam fauna behind her back?? Am I being too detailed? Fck I can't move on, these things will stay at the corner of my mind and it will come out on the day that I felt unmotivated. So, lets focus on the bright side and simpan jap psiko ini ya anak2 sekalian.

I started my 2022 with almost tertinggal bas because I don't aware that the schedule is changed, I can feel the main character's vibes when I entered the bus. Halah not everyone is perfect, jangan lah usha T_T.

My latte is holding onto their life.

My luck really said no to me that day because I kept reminding him and sharing my location via WhatsApp and guess what? Just guess... yup the moment I arrived at TBS, he was just done washing his car. Why? Just why does every guy that I liked.. always have this kind of problem? Is it suratan takdir or just God testing me? The first 15 minutes, I was mad as hell and then I just exhale out the negativity and inhale the positivity. I meant, benda dah jadi so, tunggu je la dia pnya estimate time arrival lagi sejam tuh so I ate my McD and just scrolling the tiktok page and it helps. Know2 dah sejam. I did not belasah him, maybe because my mood went into drain already and just counting bila nak balik... The first day we went to watch movies, which is fun.. this guy doesn't hold my hands, instead, he's putting his hand on my shoulder. I was like, am I your bro or girlfriend. This time, I don't even touch and not even think unlocking 'the phone'. Why? Because I am taking care of my mental health and if he 'menyundal' with other girls. I couldn't care less anymore. For now, I'm just focusing on myself and not letting myself be that sad anymore. Okay the next day, we went to Petrosains and Aquaria. 

Rasa macam dah ada niat nak buat hobi baru

Jumpa member jap

Jumpa member lagi

Eh member tergolek

Made me want to watch Nemo again

My new twitter profile picture. The cursed worm yakni its gonna be me if he doesn't love me anymore.

Kesian, nak naik offshore takde rezeki lagi. Lulz

It was the best experience! minus the headache that I bear because his photography skills are really -5/10. All the picture I took of him is really Instagram-worthy while me? It needs a lot of editing and patience. Overall, I appreciated all his efforts and the money he spent, surely if there's my rezeki, maybe I belanja him pula next time. Hopefully. 

Last but not least, here come my careers. I can't believe I will do my internship next month and I got the company that I least expected. Here is the story, I used to apply at this company during my diploma years but.. this bitch right here accidentally sent the cover letter which contains another company letter head, long short story, of course, I didn't get the company lol. But now, I just applied it with half of my heart.. not fully. Just buat cukup syarat, but then. I still remembered that I was at Ipoh with him and I just went to the toilet when HR called me asking whether I got the internship placement and I said not yet. Then, after one day, I was in MIMET waiting for him to pick me up because I wanted to meet Muz at this one stall when suddenly I got the phone call and the person just tell me, 'Okay awak dapat xxx,' it went so fast and I was like, oh, yeke. My reaction was like.. the eyes, mouth eyes emoji. The first person that I told was of course him and the second person was muz and the third person was ciciko. Ciciko just phone called me right away asking which department yada2. I can feel my luck for this internship, it would be tough because of him. I was having my main character moment when suddenly Bad also got the same place and not so long after that, sam got too. It was double hell. You know what I'm trying to say if you remembered what happened. Anywaysss,  I will try my best during this internship and if ada rezeki I dapat kerja situ, Alhamdulillah but if not, I'll try again. 

I'm gonna start my internship by myself because my boo already signed on and the line was sucked. I don't have the patience anymore. I just distracted myself from making changes and filling out my sketchbook. I planned to change this blog's theme but then I just said to myself, let just be simple bukan ada orang baca pun. I also own this one journal that I bought for RM60, before I started hating myself, I better use this journal or planner like there's no tomorrow. I already planned great things for 2022 and I can't wait to execute them. I'll make sure I'm not jobless by the time I finished my internship and this is promised. Pray for me okay?? I will be the creative person that 2022 is just full of things that I want to challenge myself such as getting married hehe huhu haha what else could it be?!?!?

Yeah.. okay just kidding okay bye.