To the one that I love;

 Hey, it's me again... dyno.

This is kind of special post for someone, maybe I could spilled some tea about my life a little bit in here.

This post is dedicated for someone that I love and respect,

31/05

Happy Birthday sayang, the one who fills my heart with love and various emotions or feelings that I can ever imagine. May today you find your peace and success, happiness and fulfillment and all your heart desires. Semoga dimurahkan rezeki dan dikurniakan kesihatan yang baik musim covid ni. I love you now and always in every possible way that I could think of. I want you to know that you're the person I care the most because you're the sun that brightens my storm. I think you're the first guy that figure out the way to make me smile during my mood swing kicking in and I hate you for that. Once upon a time, I was left alone when I was mad as people thought that I can cool myself down on my own. I admit that theory but you just percepatkan my cool down period to 2.5 seconds which amazed me. 

I always cherished our time together because deep down in my heart, there's this one anxiety where I keep telling myself that this thing won't go that long. I know you'll be mad at me for saying thing like this but.. our story was too good to be true. When I saw you, I kept telling myself to not attached to someone as I'm not single at that time and it's a wrong thing to do. But the more I deny this feeling, the more I want you. It was scared at first to start something with someone new and I was mad with everything as I questioned myself.. why sekarang this feeling muncul? I took the leap of faith.. of course I did that after consulting with closed friends and they're okay with my decision. I told myself that, if we were not meant to be, then, I'll accept my fate with opened heart and continue my days.. alone. 

But here we are now.. Only God knows, how my feelings back then when things are going south and I'd still putting hopes in you. As the lyrics said in one of the song that you gave me, 'Hingga Tuhan selalu mendengar namamu,' I prayed every day that, if you're not the one or giving me any good, tolonglah jauhkan perasaan ini. But God knows what's the best for us so that's why.. we're together now. I appreciate every things that you'd done for us, because personally and honestly, I don't have the capabilities or the patience  that you'd. I can't get mad at you because you'd claimed the soft spot in me. I prayed that we can still be like this for a long term but if not, I'll try to understand the situation. Thank you for teaching me what 'go with the flow' means, I'm sorry if I ever push you to the edge, asking something ridiculous to you such as marriage thingy, I know I shouldn't do that because both of us still got a lot thing to do. 

Anyways, Happy Birthday to you once again, it such an experience to celebrate birthday on board ship right? I'm sending you ocean of love on your special day. Thank you for existing and giving me opportunities to know you. 

I love you sayang. 💕