Its been 2 days after the orientation week end. So let me recap what happened during wow. (welcome and orientation week ) ((hope aku ingt kesemua huhu))

one day before the registration day, my parent and I stay at local budget hotel. On 24th January, we went tp my uni at 8.30am and there're a lot of people. (memang la ramai orang sebab dah nama daftar.. bongok betul deno ni) First person that I met is.. Umar hahah muka macam Hazwan sikit (refers to 2011's posts) So I got my hostel key. Then I headed up to main hall for simple briefing about uni, loan and so on. After that I checked in into my room. (attew check in) so I met my roomate. She's very nice.. part lagi nice bapak tu she take the same course with me so I don't have to worry about crying in the middle of unikl because I can't find my class. Her name is Muz and she's from Johor Bahru. Don't worry my utara accent still the same. My mum is the one who arrange my cloth and so on cuz I don't have any idea where to start unpacking huhu bingai betul si deanna. Before my parent went back home that evening, my father told me to study smart and be alert with the uni's environment. My mum told me the same thing. Sokay don't worry deanna tak nangis pun hahah finally I'm out from the house.

Later that night, we have ice-breaking sessions.. tanya nama semua orang.. ambik course apa bagai huhu and finally I met ayiep (dah kenapa ttiba eksaited hahah) . But all of us don't have any idea about how depressed we are this week. The next day we have to gather at the parking lot at 5.15am :') sokay deanna is a moring person :') oh deanna sesat dalam hostel sendiri sebab tak jumpa tangga siap silap masuk bilik orang lagi.. 01 and 03 jauh beza kud hahah masuk pastu keluar muka tak malu ja. well 'deanna' .. I was in group 8 yey. We've explorace that day.. for me personally the game was fun and adventurous but if you are a person who can't deal with dirt or 'anak manja'.. the game were a bit touture for you. kena buat payung terjun lah, minum air campuran mayonis bagai, baling tuju tin, baling belon air, baling serbuk pewarna ( I s2g those colours were hard to clean off, my face was in pink colour for 2 days) So there's one checkpoint where all of us misunderstood the place. The faci were looking for us for half and hour and the end of the day they were so mad at us that they pour a bucket of sea water at each one of us. Yep, I'm wet for the whole day. But is was fun actually, bila la pulak nak merasa kena simbah air laut bagai.

The next day, there's river crossing activity which is super fun that I want to that again for 5 times in a row but I only did one because gelojoh itu tak bagus ye anak2. When I arrived at the center of the river, Umar asked me. 'DME?' (my course) and I said 'yes'. Then he said, oke berenang pegi kat Ravin, and Ravin was waving at me hahah nyampah pulak aku. So I swimmed lah. cey bajet pandai padahal bukan reti berenang pun. yo yo o ja. Never thought being in the water is so much fun hahah and of course me and mus took selfi otw back to hostel hoho and lucky they don't include the dark water session in my batch. Putus nyawa nak tahan aroma selut tu. sayang faci this intake hahah oh throughout the orientation week, we've to hold hands when walking in group.. everytime okay! hahah macam budak tadika comel ja and tak boleh pijak rumput or meer will step on you. (they spent a lot of their time and energy to tanam those rumput sebab sini tak banyak rumput so make sense la jugak sebab apa depa geram tengok orang pijak rumput )

When we're late or did something wrong.. (ter-pijak rumput bagai) the faci did a tough a physical training as denda for us. Personally I felt really healthy and my thigh size were smaller than before. Thanks meer. But for certain people who can't take this as fun denda.. nagging at their parent about this and that. menyusahkan orang ja huh. There're 2 morning that we've to jog, berzumba bagai.. I'm proud of myself for not semput while jog and there's this abang who we called 'abang hensem' at the back.. 'sapa lambat pegang tangan sayee' hahah pecut terus semua orang. yep thats all we did throughout wow and there're a lot funny moment that we had that I can't shared with you. kalau nak merasa datang la sign in sini ( cey promote) the community here were nice and I don't have any issues with them which is good. The closing ceremony was the first time for me that Yaya chose me to become osher with kak dini (it turn out she is syed's niece) So I've to wear this baju kurung and escort the vip to their seat.. wey time sekola tak dk nafsu pun nak buat ni hahahah  time practise tu ganti la jap vip tu dengan faci so I've to escort abang hensem and he gave me his hand to hold and I was like.. 'eh' and everybody at the back laughed at us.. throughout the closing ceremony I sat beside Zikri (degree student) almost ter-catch feelings la jugak cuz idk dia ni nampak baik and caring ja. hitam manis uolls hahah.  Persembahan semua best2 including sketsa tiru gaya fasi. memang rancak lah. Fasi yang still tengah marah pun tergelak.

We ended up the ceremony with a lot of selfi which I'll update soon hahah soon la sebab muz ajak keluar sekarang gi makan kat cafe.

kk dah balik ni gambar time wow.

after kena simbah with air laut

I stand beside zikri, find me hah

so during the photo session, zikri was pulling umar and ravin's hair and he pointed at me ( so I looked like I'm the one who's pulling their hair duhh ) 


with the facis (umar, khairil, amal, ravin, iqram,ahat, adam, zikri, farah, oya, me, idk, farah, dini)

kitorang si osher hahah

layankan je la fans minta ambil gambar


eh mana deanna huhu

group 8 with khairil and oya

thank you for the memories guys - Intake January 2016


I have to be stronger than before. No, I MUST! There're a lot things happened right now that put me down and I'm tired already. Physically and mentally! Its not about people, love or whatsover.. this is about my studies, loan, the amount of money that my parent have to spend for me to pursue my study and many more. Not only me, my friends feels the same too. Of course I'm down to the lowest. But then I remembered something from the past.. I was fighting with my parent about my studies (( I force them to accept my decision to go to unikl)) and they asked me.. "are you sure with this? you can ace in this engineering world?" and I said yes. Remember why you started this journey. I already agreed in front of my parent that I'm cool with this. Nothing can change my decision. I'm doing things that I like. I keep reminding myself to keep patience and have faith in Allah. He gave me this type of test to test my Iman ((tew)) So I just simply google 'how to have patience in Islam'.. just kidding k hambar.

But hey yesterdaym aiman ((my primary school friend)) just told me about this one certificate that allow me to work while study and the salary are quite interesting. I already make up my mind that I'll take that certificate.. and Mukhriz want to join too. yey highfive!! Even it required 4-5k MYR to take that certificate.. hey I'm gonna do this jugak!  One of my goals right now is.. bila habis diploma.. aku nak langsaikan terus hutang aku. Yep 2 in 1. work + study. My life gonna be awesome. I hope so and this blog will record everything.. I promise I'll update about my experience in this engineering world. *finger crossed*  and yep I've to make sure my pointer are high as it can be or my mom asked me to quit and ask someone to marry me. oh pls!! takmau akuu hahah so yeah I've to study smart and focus in myself and also I must to be discipline about my finance.. as 1 sem = 6.5k. Money are important part here. So I'm gonna spend my money on food and studies only. #wishmeluck

yeah today is my last day at home.. tomorrow I'll go to Perak hm. It's 9.55pm rn and I don't pack anything yet. Hooray to last minute deanna!! Guess who gonna be depressed tonight :))

Anyways, if you're feeling down right now.. It's normal to be sad and cry a little. but you must be a gangster after you deal with that emo. Life must go on, just keep studying, even you've heard about your scholarship or loan being suspended whatsover.. just remember why you started ..

23rd January 2016

Keep Going

Hi heyyo

hm I was sad.. again last few days ago. Somehow someone from my past is haunting me again. I keep questioning myself whether am I too easy for everyone? When they're not in the mood, they left but if they felt alone, they find me. To be honest, I'm so sick with these type of people. Personally I want to be someone's favourite, not like bf gf thingy but as friends. Friends that not take me for granted. Since everyone left, I only keep in touch with meman. If I got any lame jokes or fire-ry pickup lines, I'll ws him instead and watch him upset about himself because he just got fooled by me and that's funny. Everytime I'm trying to be a good friend by praising him something, he'll get sad because he thought I was being ,mean to him. ((this guys is confused as hell))

hm so 2 days ago, that guy (not mems) sent me messages. Deep in my heart, I try to reply but.. thinking what he already did to me makes me mad and sad at the same time. If I reply, things will be like the old times.. but I can't deal with this anymore. I want to show people that I've feelings too. If you lose me, I'll be gone forever. People around me keep advicing me to let go and move on. Never have high hopes on anyone. Don't let myself get fooled twice by the same people. Open new books, new adventure. Yea I'm grateful for everything that I have right now and never mourn about things that I'd lost in the past. Of course I must be grateful, bak kata sufi.. dapat kawan yang hensem pun takpe. hahah yea he's handsome and know how to treat people nicely and not replying 'lol'. I appreciate that because I hate that 'lol' words.

I hope everyone in my past understand, yep many people nowdays are prettier than me, knows how to treat people well but they're not me. Deanna. There's only one me in this world and no one could be me. That's the fact boo. omg diva uolls statement aku hahah. You may called me arrogant for acting up but you don't know how I feels last year. I almost hit the ground but he's nowhere to be found. Friends will always be there for us right? because I did. If only you know how I waited for one day for you to message me on 31st Dec, the only day we can figure things out and try again this year but probaly you're having fun with someone better than me. haih. I've reach this far and I'll keep walking, no one will catch me because they're busy to care. Sometimes I re-read our old conversation and I noticed that I should left you earlier. You're not interesting at all to have a conversation with me and you'll ended up with bye. I'm glad that 'okay' is my last text to you. I feel better right now.

I hope after this people will appreciate me more before I give up on them and dissapear forever. What's the point having a friend who makes you sad and hate youself, you must left that people. They're not worth your time. Thank you for teaching me how to keep going without you in my life. All I want from you since the day we've issues is to understand. Understand me. but you don't. Okay. I got it, I can't force someone to understand.

If only you know,
We might not ended up like this.
Sometimes a part of you have to die in the fire, so that a new and stronger you can arise from the ashes

New Year Resolution

terbanglah gais.. terbangg hahaha

so yeah today's date is 2nd January 2016. ((okay I almost type 2015 lol))

I was planning to write this post in the morning last night but nah, Deanna just being Deanna. Sembang teruk hahaha. So I think about posting my 2016 resolutions. fuhh but before that, I'm determined to finish my MARA essay yesterday because dah berapa hari tertunda sebab malas heh. So it was a hectic evening , you guys don't know how un-isnpired (betul ke?) I am to write this essay and that's why 'friend' exist haha. So Mukhriz and I were brainstorming together .. but all I get from his minds was nothing.. I might ended up robbing a bank because Mara declined my application and I need those money to pay my studies kahkah. okay nope .. not gonna do that. I managed to finish my essay at 6.20pm and I think that's not the end.. because I've to give it to my father so he can check the 'Malay' grammar... and he's too strict about writing a good essay. #pray4dyno ((My father is teaching malay subject))

So anyways, here's my 2016 goals, plans, resolutions can call it whatever you want


#1 Treat my family and friends better than last year
I'm in huge regret.. for not taking care about people around me. I always keep myself worrying about people who didn't even care about me and Alhamdulillah I managed to cut them off from my life this year. I do so many wrong things towards my parent and siblings last year and I didn't realised what I'm doing ugh. This year I'm gonna be a good daughter so my mum tak beletiaq banyak sangat this year huhuhuhu. About my friends.. I think .. no I will.. eh tak I must  keep in touch with Anis more.. including saiyidah and aina.. I miss those munchkins :( I hope we'll meet soon this year. After those crappy incident about that one loser, I must talk to  Ain, Sufi and Mukhriz  a little more because you know.. this year we've to step up our games.. and no one could ever brings us down. Oh and I'll love my junior too!! yea ada dua org ja pun.. syed and mems.. but I heart u guys!!  #muahciked

#2 Be More Organize and Do the Study Smart Plan
I swear to God my things are everywhere, tambah2 time takdak mood nak mengemas tu.. memang dasyat jugak la meja aku. So this year, my gap year is over.. that means I've to go to university :(( and my first goals there is to be organized. I must take responsible for everything that I own.. (( hope harta benda aku tak hilang ka apa duh )) and about that study smart thingy.. I'll work my ass off to ace every subject that I take.. to title Dean list we go!! ((sorry english berterabuq)) the subject that I take are hard enough.. lol every subject are hard but I must work hard than last year to achieve my goals. sis taknak repeat wuuu mohon dijauhkan.. aand maybe I'll help myself to be strong and not sleep too much on the daytime. I took 2 times nap a day and I regret it after that but I keep doing that for 6 months.. oh Lord I need help haha

#3 Read More Books and Spend Lest Times On the Phone
I admit this year I'm not reading too much books because my finance are 0. My parent are not that monthly bagi duit like others so I don't have money huhu. This year I might more books and try to expand my brains as much as I could. The more intelligent you get, the less you speak.. that's why I don't speak that much now hm ((angkat bakul sendiri sia haha)) About this thing that we called handphone.. I can't stop staring at it.. this year my game plan is to charge my phone whenever the battery hit 0%. By doing that I think it'll help me spending more time living life instead of scrolling my Instagram's feed.

#4 Do more Arts and Write More
To be honest I miss drawing and playing with watercolours ((even kaler macam apa ja)).. but last year I was having major artist block.. I can't think what to draw.. I hope this year I'll do more arts and post it Instagram.. even the no of likes sikit ((batak problems)) :) I wish I'll write more and post it on wattpad regularly?? Idk but I miss writing too.. when the mouth can't speak.. just write it down.

#5 Help Myself to get closer to God
Why this is at no 5? haha don't get me wrong.. I don't write my goals on paper.. apa yg ada kat kepala terus tulis ja. Okay I promise to myself to pray 5 times a day which is I made it since last year.. maybe this year I'll try to pray early.. selalu tangguh ja hm.. and read Al-Quran more and do the zikir after solat.. (( do the zikir? faham2 je la)) I know this seems impossible but I'm gonna try it .. um I'll try to not using rude words anymore whenever I speak to my friends or in social media.. well lets see how this things going haha. oh and not talking bad about people anymore. Insof dah mak cikk.

#6 Finance
yknow dah masuk universiti nanti.. I'll be more jimat cermat, menabung more.. be more discipline!! I'm planning about giving birthday gifts so that means I've to take this things seriously. wish me luck!!

#7 Love Myself
Maybe I don't need a man until I've a job or who knows kan.. so I'll focus on positive things that make me happy and leave the negative vibes in 2015. I've cool friends that everybody wish for. My parent are the best. ((Asian parent power!!)) lol I'll smile more. Chasing my dreams in heavy duty boots.. ((I'll never wear high heels.. marked my words!!)) Careful about meeting new people I think, I don't know them so I must not reveal myself too much. Being a nice person.. even that person hate me.. I'll treat her/ him nicely.. that's me.. why should I do bad to people.. at the end of the day I'll hate myself too, so I'm not gonna let that happen.

#8 Blog
Okay I'll read more blogs after this.. and update mine too. Last year post sikit banget. This year let pass the 100 posts. tudiaq merapu teruk la tuh. I'll watch vlog more.. I'm in love with Joanna's channel. She's studying at Moscow and she's too cute. You should check hers too.

okay that's it. haha have a nice day y'all!!
Bye xx