I've this one funny story to tell you guys, so last Tuesday I was hanging out with Ain and Mukhriz. I was planning to give a cake to afnan (for his birthday's suprise pfft). I already told Syed the night before, so he's the one in charged (I trust him over 100% !). I told him it'll be 'secret recipe's cake'. But I don't know maybe we're too early and we're in rush, I just bought mc cafe red velvet's cake. So after having breakfast, we went to school to take our SPM and PMR's certificate. (hmm pmr 2012, 2015 baru datang tuntut) Suprisingly, nurin, nazeefa, aisyah and aiza were there too. We're having mini reunion outside the school's office. While I was talking to Mukhriz, I thought I saw someone that I hate from the bottom of my heart.. (I hate myself for having this long-sightness problem). I thought I saw Najah coming and the least thing I thought I'm gonna do that day was jumping off the building but of course I didn't do it. I did the sign language to Mukhriz asking 'is that her?' and phew he said no, it was somebody else. Haih I don't know, I just.. I'm not ready to see those faces that set me on fire everytime they did something. Oh about that cake.. I asked Ain to put it under the table @ lorong gelap. True dermarian will know what is 'lorong gelap'. (taklah gelap mana sebab pasang lampu tapi ntah.. takkan lorong cerah kan.. ..) But I admitted that I was stupid too.. I don't write Syed's name on that package because who the f in the school will hide a cake.... I was feeling nervous for the entire day and guess what..
|credit to syed|
Hey I just joking about nan's stuff. I knew he already have someone special so I just leave him alone. For serious tho, I'm pretty sure that I'll never move on about syz. Everytime I sleep, whether it is him, the girl will be featured in my dreams. I ended up trying not to cry and hurting myself. Of course I miss him but .. nothing that I can't do. I decided to disable my dynowanted's instagram account. I just need a break from all this things. Things wouldn't happen if I didn't upload zarul's picture, but why I must regret ..? I want things to be normal again but it wouldn't be the same. My absence didn't affected him so that's the reason I did all of this. From this day, I want to change for the better me.. (it's more like I want to distract myself from thinking about him anymore). I won't be active on social media anymore. I want to learn something new .. I'll try studying spanish languange slowly.. ye study didn't hurt my heart like he did so .. I will try. It's hard for me to just closed the door that leads to my heart when the door itself have been blown away in pieces. Lucky her for having him as her boyfriend. Everyone is changing but there's me.. still stick up with the old deanna. I don't want to change. I'll hiding from all this people for a while and I'd knew there's no one will finding me. I'm losing myself. But there's no one will understand me like he did. I couldn't compare him with others because he's the best. I pray for the better things after this. I'm sorry. I will cancel the disable option next year. Whatever happens..
I'm there for you