January Intake

you guys have to accept that this is the owner of this blog. Will do everything just for Instagram's like. 

It's almost a month that I study in form 6 and hey it isn't that bad! But for sure am not taking the STPM. Physics, Maths T and Chemistry went well for me but not pengajian Am where you have to write those long paragraph about current issues within words not more than 200 or idk. I do get A's in Bahasa Melayu but noo I don't want to face it anymore. Every people or even teachers gave me a weird looks when I said yes I take science stream but I'm leaving soon to UNIKL Mimet next year. And they just like.. unikl? better UITM lagi la sebab diorang dah cut siap2 yuran. Um excuse me do they have Marine engineering course? No. so just shut up. Science stream in STPM is isn't that bad. You just had to focus and do a lot more exercises. The best part is.. there're only 2 boys and 3 girls. I'm the only one Malay. I do enjoy doing calculation compared to reading and writing essays stuff and hey MUET teacher is superb. She make us talk in every lessons. Just speak out topic that you want to talk about. By doing that I speaking skill are getting improved. I friend with Wani and Nureen. They choose Kemanusiaan stream so sometimes we'd to separate classes which I go to the lab and they stayed in the class. The school? I'm annoyed with their system. I prefer Derma compared to this. No ringing bell and more quiet and peaceful. Many people ask me.. when you'll leaving us?

This end of the year. My rayuan seems failes. I failed everyone em. It's a bit sad because Ain got June intake while me... have to wait next Januari. 6 months balanced. I'll continue with my form 6.. dari duk rumah tak buat apa. Even Paiq agree that I go to form 6 first. Pengalaman baru katanya. I miss him, there're a lot of stories I want to share with him.hm I asked this one guy, he got the same intake with me and he said he couldn't wait any longer that he want to keep going with form 6. I'm scared. yep he got the point that January is too long. I'd miss 1 semester compared to first intake. All this stuff sometimes stressed you. ya I do cried. When I pray, sometimes this topic came to my mind and like.. what had I done wrong? Why must He punished me like this? I want that June 2015 intake. and I started crying. Thank God there's no camera in front of face. More ugly than ever dengan hinguih astagaa. Thn again I doa.. I trust Him. Thanks for the rezeki that I'd and will get. Redha with the qada' and qadr. At first I'm mad and then.. who am I want to judge God. Like Sufi had said, good things always comes late. Ain- everything that happened have some 'hikmah'. Mukhriz- at least you got the offer compared to others that unsucessful. All I do is to wait. Pejam celik pejam celik tadaaa December. I said to Ain that.. (joke mode) you know what are the hikmah behind all these? maybe pensyarah effendy tu saja sabotaj rayuan aku so nanti second intake there will be only 2 students which is me and someone.. and he'll said "saja saya sabotaj kamu kalau tak, saya tak boleh rapat dengan kamu Deanna please XD Angan itu percuma and hey I have the best senior that willing to help me pass through this. OMG I'm so lucky. and Ain.. if that turtles get attach to her new friends, I swear I'm gonna put a grenade in front of her door and throw her body into the sea.

Anyway, I'm thankful that I will face a uni life next year with new people and berorientasi alone duhh. I'm excited doing medical check-up, buying stuff and have a long car journey. Lumut and Perlis jauh bapak. Oh I want to be like my idol, vivy yusof, nurulism, miyyo (eh) and oak (she's a painter). I'll try to be a girl like them. Powerful but yet cute and have a great life and friends. (and husband & babies). And I want to try developing abs. lol. hiks.  But deep down in the back of my mind I'm still hoping that.. I'll receive a text message. Anda diterima kemasukan unikl sesi jun I know .. maybe it'll not happen. I just go follow the flow now on. Have faith in Allah. He knows better what are the best for you. For me.. maybe I'll meet my future husband there .. who knows kahkah. It's almost 10pm and I hadn't take any showers yet. so Have a great day ahead people!! #muahrightback


Here I am. Being heartless again. From this now on, I'm gonna fade my existence in the real world. Mukhriz had gone to Kulim. There're just Ain, Ajiq and Cupi. Other than that, I don't want to know about their performance.. their life. It is hurt when the trust that I keep giving tp them.. just smashed like that. I'm scared to trust people right now. Even the senior. I'm gonna teach myself that don't expect too much from things that you're un-sure. Otherwise.. your hearts shattered again. I'm tired to bend my knees; collect the shattered pieces. Glued it again. And repeat with other person. I keep giving chance.. because "chance" that I'll never received.. I tried to give it to one who needs but they did this to me. Don't put people on the edge, thus a worst macabre is born.

I am now. I started to hate people. Every single person whom text me.. I believe that the words that they're sending is lies. I gave my sould to liars. No point of having them anymore. The day I goes into university. You'll see me, walking alone, wearing earphones, hearing some musics that doesn't suits your taste and wear the outfits that nobody ever look at it. It's my choice. People around me betrayed me and I had enough. Painkiller is too strong for me. Sometimes I felt like my life is undeserving. Like Ain said I must put my trust in Allah. Yes I am an I'm always trust Him. I know I'd did domething that very wrong past years which I can't mention but is this how He's gona punnish me. I learnt my lesson. Maybe that time I was so immature and try to do new things but I can't control the wanted feelings. In the end of the day.. I regret everything.

I'd set my walls up. The idea of meet up.. having bbq with classmate for the last time is not gonna happen. Once I hate those guys, I always.. hate 'em. I forgive 'em but the things that they did is unacceptable. Go on with your life. As long as you don't disturb mine, you're fine.


Well hai this is me again lulz who else the author of this blog. So I just want to say goodluck to those who got offer from the upu. Just to make things clear that.. I'd started my study. Yeah a month earlier from you guys. Only to be temporary. While waiting for the official letter from my university. I'd study Math T ( suitable for those who want to pursue his/her study in engineering), Physics.. tomorrow will be Chemistry. I take that just for fun. So for you.. you know who... I don't have time to care what you do, what you'd tweeted and so on. Thus, I don't even care if you want to spend some time with my friends. Look for the 's' bitch. I'm not "bebal" like you to have small quantity of friends. So please don't take serious shit when I tweet something or whatsover.. my blog's post. Because you're not the only one human that I know.. please sedar diri. I'm getting annoyed and I'd to do what I got to do. Don't question it. Ada otak fikir sendiri la laknat. haih sorry I'm just "bengang". Lagi diam lagi la nak menyibuk. Adoyai. Bila kawan "baru" dah menyampah dengan perangai sendiri baru la nak terhegeh datang dekat kawan yang lama. I don't know why we keep giving you chance . tak sampai hati tau nak maki. "tak sampai hati" lulz. Lantak hang la nak buat apa. At least jangan kacau / musnahkan hidup orang. Jangan kacau orang. Nak lingkup. Lingkup sorang2, jangan ajak kawan sekali lingkup. Kesian. Sebab aku dah rasa.

So I met this abang... ceyy abang. We'd something in common. We've been through some bad situation during the past and try to restart all over again by creating new ig. We've been dm'ed via ig. Sometimes, he's giving me some good tips and facts. Somehow I manage to surround myself with positive vibes. Can't wait to see him at university later ceyy. No just kidding. I'll try avoiding him as long as I can. Boleh tahan gedik jugak sometime.. tag hashtag diri sendiri. Untunglah sapa jadi partner sehidup semai dia. While deno mereput single 18 tahun and counting... baru plan nak beraya berdua tahun ni -_- Anyways I want to thank God for giving me oppurtunity to face all this challenge that makes me strong physically and mentally. RIP grammar. It makes me appreciate people that willing to stand beside me even my attitude is like satan finding her partner. I forgive the people who stabbed my back, doing bad things behind me.. nevermind, I forgive you. You're just.. immatured. Hoping people to like you but mad + butthurt when people treat you the way you treat 'em. ceyy ayat twitter sia.

Last but not least.. please, I don't have time to be sad/ piss off/ mad or whatsover from things that you'd done. I have so much things to do in my life and complete my goals. Tweet like you're a saint doesn't make you a sinner. Sometimes things that you tweeted reflected to you. Macam tweet dengan cermin.I choose to be silent. I observed.. think. keep it to myself. Doesn't need to tweet or caption it. Nanti 2 billion users pulak terasa. Anyways Paiq still giving me some good motivation that I need. Boost my intention to work harder and be a better person. Keep it lowkey. I'm sorry if my do things that might piss you off. Not my intention. p/s: I'd never built a wall that separate my friends from other people. You're the one who thinks like that. Pls revaluate yourself.