1 Jan 2015

New Year Eve


Well hullo
Today is 1st January 2015
Alhamdulillah I'm still breathing and nothing bad happened. I'm gonna start this year with brand new me. No more angry Dean just the calm Dean. Whatever happen, happens. That's it. Last year had taught me about a lot of things. I think that last year is the most remembered year among the past. I met new people. I'd involved in such a stupid fight. With the junior kayh!! So immatured lah you ni. I just.. em mad because she's trying to get syz while syz and me fatrher among each other. Moreover, now I can adapt the fact that no one will last forever with you.. even he/she once upon a time admitted to be your best friends. I can see the person who's stay with you through thick and thin and the one who'd leave you when you're in trouble. He/She are happy to see when good things happened to you and can't accept if the things that you got is more that they have. I'd to deal with that type of person a lot last year. 2015.. fck those people and live your life even your heart hurts seeing their tweets/status about you in social media.. sorry buddy. I'd to do this for you because I'm fcked up last year. I cried a lot last year because of boys and now.. I don't want to know about boys anymore. I'd rather single that involve in such a complicated relationship. Such a waste of time. I learned to be more grateful this year and whatever God's decision.. I learned to accept without asking the reason why it must be happened.

Last year my relationship with my best male friends that's T aka Mukhrizzz had been better from past years. Even he'd such a laser mouth but it's okay rather that he's acting fake. He's the one that text me personally if anything felt wrong and I'm the stupido little things will replied nothing and he's gonna be mad but it does not shown physically. I admitted that I'm jealousy type. Even someone commented at my best friend social media accout, I'll stalk them secretly.. (is there any person that stalk in public?) So there's goes my short reply. I'll mute my phone for a day just to see their reaction. But mostly I would get.. 0 notification. haih. PT3's result had been announced and my sweet little nerdy guy got 10A's I'm so proud of him. So this whole time I'm trying to get syz's attention untill I forgot the one who'd stay and support me since 2012 is exist. I got a picture with him last year em whic is nice because he'd changed school idk whick school he's into but I always hope and pray that one day I'll get a chance to meet him and we'll gonna talk about something funny and he'll tied my shoes when he's in form 2. Gaah I'm gonna burst into tears right now. I miss him. He's the one that can understand my mind and take everything for granted, I remembered that one time I shouted at him, I asked him to delete my number and he says no in front of the people. He's the one who always forgot my birthday each year.In 2013, It's 12th June, he forgot my birtday yesterday and I watched him from far at the library.. he's acting that he's reading a book in front of my table and suddenly he stood in front of me and talked to me. And I just.. can you not! haih such a sweet memory. About syz, maybe I'm gonna give him some silence treatment throughout this year because I just hate him. Ego makes everything worst. Let him be happy if he want to. Maybe he'll be more happy if I dissapear from his life. em about webbit. hiks I like him. he just like another copy of my lil nerdy.  we'll talk about tortoise and webbit form hours if we want to. haih thank you for being cute with me nan webbit :)

Okay this year I'm gonna start my new hobby which is writing diary and sketching. It would be great as this year at March the SPM result gonna be announce and it's so nerve-wrecking told ya. Let go and let God. fuh Aaan look! a new widget up there. It's from my Instagram. It's no longer private because there's nothing to hide. Just a picture of ugly me and my gorgous friends. This year resolution is gonna be get fit. Ya, after the incident that happened to me last year. I gotta have to be strong than ever. What's incident? em I'd confessed to one of my crush that I liked him aand he replied. Sufy told me that he could adapt the fact this stupido girl love him but the other day I asked Miruls and he said that guy already have a girlfriend and I'm so heartbroken. My heart shattered but please. Just let it be. Don't try to glued it back.. it gonna break again in the future no worries I'm fine. If anyone asked me to get married probaly I'll just said yes. Even he's stranger and I don't care because I don't have any boyriend :p This year I'm gonna focus to my study and maybe gain some money because I love the expensive things. My goals is PS4,IPhone or MacBook cuz this netbook and S3 always hang. I need to hit it with hard thing before it's gonna well functioning  back again. And I'll reducing my time on social media and started to take care of the nature and see something green because my eyes are getting worse. Short-sightness is not even cool man so kids, take care of your eyes well. But I'd bad news.. I'd started obsessed with this runningman thingy aaaaa.. I love Kang Gary and Ji Hyo. Gah fck it come on Dean,, It's part of kpop. em everyday I must watch one episode before I'd my job done. Well my life gonna be ruined after this. I started to play a lot of video games nowadays because it makes me forget about my personal problem and maybe it could increase my response skill so I could be more alert. Yeah last week my neighbor's house had caught on fire and I didn't even notice.. two firetrucks and ambulance came and I'd still sleep without realizing anything. oops!

But anyways, this year a lot of people had been eliminated from my life and still a long journey and one more fact is, I still 17 years old and not 18.. 11 June 2015 will be my 18. you get it> ?okay nice. so overall this is my new year resolution :

  • Be a good human being
  • Write diary everyday even I don;t have time I'll make time for it
  • Complete 5 prayers in a day
  • Less time on social media and more time for myself
  • Stop hoping on things that never work out
  • Let go and Let God
  • Complete mission is steam
  • Do good deeds to people
  • Be a calm dean
  • Smile a lot
  • Be more loyal
  • Stick to the plan

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