28 Nov 2014

One Day

An hour ago I'd just had a big fight with Szczesny. Lets cleared things up. Actually I'm still like you. Yeah you can say whatever you want but that's the truth. This past months I just drunk with jealousy with her. You can't blame me like awat dia tak bebai. And lastly you asked me to find someone else, f u lah. I hate you. Kecewa tau tak. I'd try so hard to be better than this but you're not helping at all. Id tried to not cursing when we both chatting. I'd tried to avoid 'her' name in our conversation. Tf why you don't see?! Dud it's not really bebai sajaa, It's about terasa mann. When I asked her , she like no, he the one who find me when both of 'em not chatting for a long time. I just like whatt, you don't even find me like that.

It's all about hard work man. I tried so mutherfcking hard to get your attention and all of that. I try to be nice with your friends and now what I got? Nothing. All this whole time I am really 'ikhlas'. All things that I'd said is true. I meant it. I'm not used lying to you. I know la she is your junior and her mom is one of the teachers at school. But why you can't be fair and square. Just layan dia sama macam hang layan aku. Why you can't do that? I don't even understand. When you'd a trip to KL, you don't even tell me, but you told her. I cried when I know that and just asked nan about that. But he's supporting you. Nothing I can do about that.

So you expected me to remain silent and not disturbing people like used to. Okay fine let me do it if that what you want. She have what you want and she'll give what you asked. Yes she is really nice and me was bad. You'd turned me into someone that I promised that I'll not be. I'm not used to hate people and now. I hate everyone. If I'd a gun in my hand, I swear I 'll shoot every people around me. I'm all alone right now. I'm scared. Scared to do anything that I want. Scared to turned out who I want to be. Born to please people. It's sucks. I want ro read books, I want to do addmath. I want to do doodles. I don't want to reply my message. Let me drown. Cuz' that what you want. That's what
 her want. Do you feel better now> ? The annoyed person who always be there for you will fading away. You will not feel anything cuz'.. hang ada hati ka smpai tak consider langsung?

But one things is, all of our secrets all this time, I'll keep that in my mind only. I'll never let people know cuz I'm not that evil. Not that evil to let people down. Not that evil to let people cry because of me . Not that evil to take someone's crush. Not that evil to take what people owns. Not that evil to left someone hanging. Goodluck with your life and all of that. Thanks for the time you put on me.

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