Simple Things

So guys, SPM is officially over . I'm not really in the mood to talk about the questions whther hard medium or nah easy even the results. Sumpah scared tahap. But anyways, today is all about 'to do list' after SPM version. First thing first is my school and Form 5's batch decide to throw an event celebrating all of us. This 4 dis I guess em nevermind, it's GRADUATION DAY finally I'm graduating haha. Let's go fcking out from that school eh prison. That day, I guarantee that Instagram will pack with our picture. Lololo can't wait to take pics with Ameer, Muhd, Mukhriz, Idzuan, My girls, Sufii comel, em Amirul? and so on. Later on that night, I have dinner with all form 5 friends. Ok not all lah. some of us decided to not come that night :( But I'd bought the shoes!! yey ;) I hope aina don't read this. The dress? I don't know which style fit me perfectly. I feel like wearing track-bottom and Arsenal's jersey ja that night. Too fab too care about my outfit. How about make-up? lololo Lieya and Ains ask me to come early that night, they want to make-over me. I'm a lil bit excited because some of my girls is crazy sometime. I feel bad about this tho. Oh Lord please protect me from any mess that they're going to do.  At first I feel like not going because I'm not used to attend this event. My main reason of going is Ameer. haha just kidding. My girls forced me to go. For the last time gathering ramai-ramai la kan. At first Ameer pun is not going, then I whtspping him, begging him to go to the dinner aand I promised to accompany/ partner with him. hahaha ok this is not prom. Perasan jer. I don't have any boyfriend so.. hm. That night, there're karaoke session, games, awards and so on. The most important is the FOOD! Can't wait to eat 'em. nyum nyum

So, my crush dump me. Alooo but Muhd had consoled me yey! ahaha, Couldn't ask more for friend like Muhd. He's cheeky tho. Wait, why I'm sounded like... I like him? Naah dena, try to avoid that feeling or else you'll die from major heartbreak cuz' his taste is so damn high and I'm out from his league. That's so sad actually. I feel like I'm never getting married in the future. No one wants this ugly face. Haih, I decided to spend less time on social media and started to explore the world.. the world outside my house dah la. Too young and have no money to spend. The more time I spend on social media, the more heartbreaks I get. So, I decide to do something kinda productive. Lol, please pray for dena so she can do what she said. Couple days ago, I watched a movie, Jane Austen Book Club la kud. OMG I really fall in love they they read those books, the guy in the movie.. It Yesterday I went to Penang and guess what...

I found Jane Austen's book 2 in 1. The price really made my jaw dropped. Only RM12.00 weh. That's why I love English books. Pretty cheap than Malays. But depend lah, like The Fault In Our Stars kind expensive sikit sebab popular and they made movies from that book. Apart from that, I bought a black pen and coloring pen .. guess what. Somebody gonna start doodling back. Hooray! hahaha finally a life that I've waiting for. So yes, no whtsap 24-hrs, wechat or twitter. Drawing, go for a walk, watching movies while eating maggi in a cup. Seriously tho, I take out the maggi from the pack and pack it into the cup. Sound weird but trust me, I'm an engineer.. lol, trial LK pun dapat 44 :( dah dah.. let go and let god. Tawakal je la nak. lol.. Before that, I'm gonna do major clean up my space. The books. Papers. Is so damn banyak!!! haih.. Patient is the key. so yeah. Seems almost 1 pm now. got to go bye.

One Day

An hour ago I'd just had a big fight with Szczesny. Lets cleared things up. Actually I'm still like you. Yeah you can say whatever you want but that's the truth. This past months I just drunk with jealousy with her. You can't blame me like awat dia tak bebai. And lastly you asked me to find someone else, f u lah. I hate you. Kecewa tau tak. I'd try so hard to be better than this but you're not helping at all. Id tried to not cursing when we both chatting. I'd tried to avoid 'her' name in our conversation. Tf why you don't see?! Dud it's not really bebai sajaa, It's about terasa mann. When I asked her , she like no, he the one who find me when both of 'em not chatting for a long time. I just like whatt, you don't even find me like that.

It's all about hard work man. I tried so mutherfcking hard to get your attention and all of that. I try to be nice with your friends and now what I got? Nothing. All this whole time I am really 'ikhlas'. All things that I'd said is true. I meant it. I'm not used lying to you. I know la she is your junior and her mom is one of the teachers at school. But why you can't be fair and square. Just layan dia sama macam hang layan aku. Why you can't do that? I don't even understand. When you'd a trip to KL, you don't even tell me, but you told her. I cried when I know that and just asked nan about that. But he's supporting you. Nothing I can do about that.

So you expected me to remain silent and not disturbing people like used to. Okay fine let me do it if that what you want. She have what you want and she'll give what you asked. Yes she is really nice and me was bad. You'd turned me into someone that I promised that I'll not be. I'm not used to hate people and now. I hate everyone. If I'd a gun in my hand, I swear I 'll shoot every people around me. I'm all alone right now. I'm scared. Scared to do anything that I want. Scared to turned out who I want to be. Born to please people. It's sucks. I want ro read books, I want to do addmath. I want to do doodles. I don't want to reply my message. Let me drown. Cuz' that what you want. That's what
 her want. Do you feel better now> ? The annoyed person who always be there for you will fading away. You will not feel anything cuz'.. hang ada hati ka smpai tak consider langsung?

But one things is, all of our secrets all this time, I'll keep that in my mind only. I'll never let people know cuz I'm not that evil. Not that evil to let people down. Not that evil to let people cry because of me . Not that evil to take someone's crush. Not that evil to take what people owns. Not that evil to left someone hanging. Goodluck with your life and all of that. Thanks for the time you put on me.