You chat with her. She win. I'm losing. It really crushed my heart. All these positive thinking that I taught for all this whole time.. Its liar. You lied. I know she's prettier than me fine.  And now, let it just be between you and her. I'm backing out. After this, if you need any helps, just go ask  her and not me.

Can you imagine; every night crying for no reasons and regrets it by the next morning. Even crying in the middle of prayer because of thought how great GOD is. He pull the people that you loves in the blink of the eyes. There's must the reasons but idk why. I don't always complain about God's decision but when I do.. I'll completely breakdown and started crying uncontrollably because how much you love or miss  that person. You can't get 'em back. For him, look does matter in his life and I'm fcking sure one fine day he'll regret it.

I go to school everyday with no motivation. Now school is just.. teachers, books, friends, exams. No you. I feel like giving up everyday but thinking about my annoying friends especially sufi.. I put that plan in the last line in the list. Sufi doesn't even give up asking me about what you'd done to me but I kept my mouth shut by saying "xdk apa okay jer :)."

She's lucky to have that fox who will always supporting her even he told me about the giving up stuff because sufi doesn't give him any chance to prove his love.. I'm the one who told him to not giving up for something you want but now. I'm the one who give up. I think I belongs to alone thingy. Not deserve for the community that full of perfect human. I'm happy to be alone because being crowded is just like human zoo. Trying to impress each other. Showing off what they got. Revenge. I'm not belong there. 

Once upon a time, everyday I'll fought my negative side aka my demons who always proving me that he's not the one. He just a bitch. garik. But now, I stopped fighting with 'em because.. we're on the same side now. No need to fight. Just make the things worst so our heart could feel the taste of heaven. 

SPM is nearly approaching. That's my focus zone now. Anyway, goodluck with your exam. I don't even care about how great your grade was. Just keep that thing and tell najah only. I'm only care for people like meman hazwan the fox ... so on. Those guy, for them, look does not matter but.. heart is. IMPORTANT. I hope najah could give you letter the way I do, sending that message... stalking you even telling you that you're handsome everyday. Even you're doing bad, she just say you the best. Try la cari ada ke tak. I'm fading. There's no way to return the faded thing unless you're pro in editing. goodluck.