Finally Graduated

Tempat duduk 4 penjuru >.<

Ho hey
Today I'm officially graduated wuuuu!! :3 I woke up at 6am; I wore blue baju kurung and tudung and cream shoes. I arrived at school at 8am. I met Farisha and Bella, we went to the registration table to sign up our name. Then we headed up to Physic's lab. I met Anis and other form 5 friends and upper six form. I picked size 's' robe and started to put it on and damn. Harry Potter scene alert haha. I asked aina whether she brought the magical flying sweep. (penyapu terbang) Mr Rodzil was standing beside the table watching us putting on the robe. Liya asked him to take picture with us. hahaha he said sorry because he is not being photogenic. So cute of him. I saw mukhriz and  he did realized that I'm watching him. Ya yesterday kan I thought he was mad at me for unknown reasons. Before entering the school hall, Liya,Sya, Izzah, Anis and me took picture together. Then we saw Arjuna (Fitri the sporting form 4 guy) We shouted at him to come to take picture of us 4. He came and snapped the photo. Then I saw Muhammad. Oh Lord so hot hahahahahahahaa dah dah.

Then cg Hamran called us to get into the school hall. Beside me was Dekja haaha. We'd to wait like several minutes till the VIP came. Dekja murmured about how hot the hall was and bored to death. He played clash of clan like 5 minutes then continued murmuring. Then he whispered at Aina at front of me telling her to look at his face. wkwkwk part of him is weird. Then he looked at the back and asked kirin why she looked like she was seduced by madro and fitri at her side. Then Madro told her to keep steady even he was sitting next to her. Kirin seemed stresses with 'em. hahaha bukan selalu.Then the VIP came and we all stand and face the VIP. While they're walking, the flower girls took a glanced at Dekja as yesterday Dekja told her "makan gaji buta". hahaha Takleh kucai sebab pengarah ada. Then we'd to sing Negaraku, The state song and the school's song. That embarrassing part was, I messed up with the school's song lyrics. Ans I was like.. ee malunya dah la Dekja kat sebelah. Fortunately, Dekja just acting cool like nothing happened fuh. Then we sat and the headmistress started her talking. Dekja felt asleep and I took that chance to selfie with Ulya. He slept with his mouth opened XD As pengarah pulak started giving speech, Dekja and the gang started to mess things up. I can't hold my laugh. The way pengarah pronounce certain words.. part dia tarik sentece tu, the way he forgot his speech and so on.

Finally, part last terima sijil tu. The first person was kak upper 6 tu but she messed up with the steps and Dekja laughed. He said that kak will regretted that as the photographer didn't took her photo. Throughout the event, we all laughed.. keja gelak ja. There're typing error in some of student's name.. After Fatin was Daniel.. When his turned to received the sijil.. we all clapped so loud for him. Arif ambik hadiah cengey aih hahaha. Dekja said that he was finding some palang to do some workout hahahaha. Finally it's our turned and the person who gave the sijil is the pengarah. Dekja said. "weh kita dapat dun" While queuing up, Liya's mom came and asked me to take picture of 'em. Then Dekja praised Liya's mom that she's so beautiful. Yaa Liya's mom is pretty. Fortunately I didn't do any mistake on stage. Fuh. After that.. teacher asked  us to go outside for photography session aaand my crush is up there. haihhh y u there? We all were so confused like.. there're so many camera and we didn't know which one to focus. Luckily Dekja got an idea.. he shouted.. semua fokus kat mak sarah.. haha then, tengok mak cik pakai baju purple pulak. hahaha Pojan did the countdown.. 1,2,3 cheese and someone scolded him.. semua cheese sapa yang nak ambil gambar XD While me and Sya just weh, fokus kamera yang meman pegang hahahahaha perangai!!

Tapis 600 kali pun you guys will never see me in the picture cuz' fck org depan yang tinggi2

After the photography session ended, we took a deep breath like it was so hot there and all of us were drenched in sweat. My picture with Mukhriz is way too many.. lolololo swag formal semua ada.. My face was hurt just because of smiling to much hahahaha.. Finally I managed to take a picture with Meer, Muhammad ,Mukh, Amri, Amirul and so on in one picture. I took a lot of selfie with beautiful Sufy. Not forgetting pretty Liya as always. Ain wasn't there duh. I took a picture with my neighbour duh.. he's in upper 6. I called my dad to pick me up at 12pm. Before my dad came, I took picture with Amirul.. and we both change number and now I'm whatsapping him about game (assassin creed). lels  When I just chilling in my bed. Meer sent ws  telling me that I looked beautiful today. Damn.. ur crush praised you nohhhh. Terjun bangunan panjat balik terjun lagi sekali because of shocked hHAHAHAHA No one told me that I'm beautiful before. hiks thanks darl. Then tonight I just fighted with him just because he's so closed with Sufy like man.. I was worrying about you all this time. lololo then we'd just ok let just be nice to each other. heh Definitely, today is the day that I'll remember for the the rest of my life.. kalau lupa pun baca la balik blog ni hahahaha. Nampak tak plan dia. I'm scared that I will forgot some of golden memories that I'd during school era that's why I created this blog :>  hiks toddles
Our pictures is way too many doe hahaha since '10. Say Hi to mukhrizz
Hi Miruls haha

the one who always taught me during engineering drawing's class. Hello Amri.
My squad hahhaahahah touch one of us, you'll die

Ameer!!! haha


Dekja sleeping hahaha hi Ulya

Abah Rodzil xoxo

the true beauty with brains. Farah and Anis

The way Muhammad smile haha

24-hrs kpop. Sya the v-kum

sufi's squad xoxo
There're more.. just checked my sec instagram _sodeann hiks :3

Glitters Night & Rehearsal

Hey yoo..
So yesterday's night, I'd a dinner with form 5 batch. The afternoon before the event start, my mom and me went out hunting for dinner outfit. After half an hour, I found my dress. Ya, I wore all black that night and I don't care. That evening my mom made me tried to figure out how to style my shawl because that night is my first time me wearing shawl ever. After 2 hours struggled with that shawl. Dayyum it's so hard than I thought. My mom did my make up that night and she put lipstick because my mouth look like someone who smoke.. that's what she said. While me preparing myself for that night.. aceyyy kahkah. Meer sent me a picture of him and ask if he's looking good? Even he just only wore jeans,shirt and coat.. he did really looked stunning. Can't keep my eyes from staring at him. I arrived at Putra Palace Hotel at 8.30pm something.. way behind the schedule because Ain arrived first. As I stepped up the stairs, the voice from upstarirs really made me .. "alaaa tak sempat sampai dah kena kucai." Idzuan is the first person who praised me. He looked stunned with my looks.. "aku tak pernah tengok deanna make up selama ni, lain gila" Ya you should felt grateful because you saw deanna melaram bagai nak rak for the first time.. just to attracted Muhammad's attention. ahahahaha perangai!!! but it failed anyway but I'm okay.

Muhammad and anis syfqh were the emcee for that night and they really nailed it. I really enjoyed the food. Even the activities they planned is so minimum but I appreciated it. Their work. I couldn't that. hiks. And Muhammad really sang Akim's so well. Part tarik tu fuhh haha (I'm the one who clapped first) So Anis Shamira asked if someone could threw Muhammad a flower.. and I answered.. " why not tak throw I jer sbb I sanggup jadi bunga untuk Muhammad." And starting from that day, Anis Shamira and the gang calling me bunga instead of Deanna and I ain't even mad. Liya aka Yuna for the night asked me to go to toilet with her and we'd met mukhriz at the front with lala. Lala came that night uuuu. Mukhriz asked me to take picture with him and for the second time our outfit match each other like dude.. bfff ja hahaha. You know what, finally that night my mouth can create a beautiful (err I guess) smile.. before this my smile looks creepy as fck Idk why. I took picture with Achik, Idzuan, Fariss (tetibe je), Madro, Nurhan and etc.. But the highlight of the night is.. FINALLY THERE'RE PICTURE OF ME WITH MUHAMMAD & MEER.. haha why capslock? excited mungkin. And Dinah and me took picture together. She's so beautiful told ya! I really had crazy time with Ain, Liya, Farisha and the gang, Idzuan. (he can't keep his eyes from me duh) haha.. Amirul with his jacket and cap.. signature gila. My father came at 11.30pm and back home.. dem boys and girls whatsapping each other like weh tadi dah sembang ada lagi sambungan ka? hahaha I put myself to sleep like 2am in the morning and Instagram were full of our dinner pictures. I'd spam all my followers in my second Instagram's account (_sodeann) because I'm a picture hoarder and posting it on (dynowanted)'s accounf could be such a disaster.

7am this morning I woke up because I'd to go to school for tomorrow event. It's Graduation Day event darls! While waiting teacher calling for us, I just scrolling my instagram and mann.. so many picture to like hahaha. So I saw my crush walking and just pretended not seeing him and it failed I know. The teachers arranged us in the hall and I can't accept the fact that I sat beside dekja and our seat is '4 penjuru'. As the front is dekja, behind us Madro and Fitri, behind 'em is Dani and the gang. It's gonna be funny tomorrow. During rehearsal, the flower girls didn't show up at first, and teachers just.. "mana tlg bawa bunga?" and they showed up. Dekja just annoyed 'em by saying wer makan gaji buta and I can't hold my laugh. They'd planned like, wey time duk atas stage tu, gosok masking tape pakai kaki biar tergulung. I saw dekja's leg rolling the masking tape and the result is mad.. the masking tape attached to his shoes and from 2 lines of masking tapes, it'd became one.. after us, the students all messed up due to confusing one line of tape. We all burst into laughter. The plans went well. The rehearsal end at 11.30am. Tomorrow me gonna wear blue baju kurung. attew, at first planned nak pakai slack ja.. but aina said she want to wear baju kurung so, yeah. Mukhriz looked badmood today, am I doing something wrong? hum :(  c u tmr hiks :)

Madro ,  he won best suits.

Nurhann!! haha his mom is my fav English teacher when I was in standard 6 in SKKPs

dibaa.. take care at PLKN you :>

Zaty the genius one. Since '10

pretty liya as always nak.. eh silap this is Yuna #vscocam #igersperlis #tumblr

ddnah.. I'd always tweeted with her

The emcee for that night.. hehe Muhammad

haha Ameer cuteness level is overloading

MY SQUAD. Anis wasn't there :<

with bae Nazeefa

Lala!! haha this is 5 Arif members. Eventhough this is not complete :>

Simple Things

So guys, SPM is officially over . I'm not really in the mood to talk about the questions whther hard medium or nah easy even the results. Sumpah scared tahap. But anyways, today is all about 'to do list' after SPM version. First thing first is my school and Form 5's batch decide to throw an event celebrating all of us. This 4 dis I guess em nevermind, it's GRADUATION DAY finally I'm graduating haha. Let's go fcking out from that school eh prison. That day, I guarantee that Instagram will pack with our picture. Lololo can't wait to take pics with Ameer, Muhd, Mukhriz, Idzuan, My girls, Sufii comel, em Amirul? and so on. Later on that night, I have dinner with all form 5 friends. Ok not all lah. some of us decided to not come that night :( But I'd bought the shoes!! yey ;) I hope aina don't read this. The dress? I don't know which style fit me perfectly. I feel like wearing track-bottom and Arsenal's jersey ja that night. Too fab too care about my outfit. How about make-up? lololo Lieya and Ains ask me to come early that night, they want to make-over me. I'm a lil bit excited because some of my girls is crazy sometime. I feel bad about this tho. Oh Lord please protect me from any mess that they're going to do.  At first I feel like not going because I'm not used to attend this event. My main reason of going is Ameer. haha just kidding. My girls forced me to go. For the last time gathering ramai-ramai la kan. At first Ameer pun is not going, then I whtspping him, begging him to go to the dinner aand I promised to accompany/ partner with him. hahaha ok this is not prom. Perasan jer. I don't have any boyfriend so.. hm. That night, there're karaoke session, games, awards and so on. The most important is the FOOD! Can't wait to eat 'em. nyum nyum

So, my crush dump me. Alooo but Muhd had consoled me yey! ahaha, Couldn't ask more for friend like Muhd. He's cheeky tho. Wait, why I'm sounded like... I like him? Naah dena, try to avoid that feeling or else you'll die from major heartbreak cuz' his taste is so damn high and I'm out from his league. That's so sad actually. I feel like I'm never getting married in the future. No one wants this ugly face. Haih, I decided to spend less time on social media and started to explore the world.. the world outside my house dah la. Too young and have no money to spend. The more time I spend on social media, the more heartbreaks I get. So, I decide to do something kinda productive. Lol, please pray for dena so she can do what she said. Couple days ago, I watched a movie, Jane Austen Book Club la kud. OMG I really fall in love they they read those books, the guy in the movie.. It Yesterday I went to Penang and guess what...

I found Jane Austen's book 2 in 1. The price really made my jaw dropped. Only RM12.00 weh. That's why I love English books. Pretty cheap than Malays. But depend lah, like The Fault In Our Stars kind expensive sikit sebab popular and they made movies from that book. Apart from that, I bought a black pen and coloring pen .. guess what. Somebody gonna start doodling back. Hooray! hahaha finally a life that I've waiting for. So yes, no whtsap 24-hrs, wechat or twitter. Drawing, go for a walk, watching movies while eating maggi in a cup. Seriously tho, I take out the maggi from the pack and pack it into the cup. Sound weird but trust me, I'm an engineer.. lol, trial LK pun dapat 44 :( dah dah.. let go and let god. Tawakal je la nak. lol.. Before that, I'm gonna do major clean up my space. The books. Papers. Is so damn banyak!!! haih.. Patient is the key. so yeah. Seems almost 1 pm now. got to go bye.

One Day

An hour ago I'd just had a big fight with Szczesny. Lets cleared things up. Actually I'm still like you. Yeah you can say whatever you want but that's the truth. This past months I just drunk with jealousy with her. You can't blame me like awat dia tak bebai. And lastly you asked me to find someone else, f u lah. I hate you. Kecewa tau tak. I'd try so hard to be better than this but you're not helping at all. Id tried to not cursing when we both chatting. I'd tried to avoid 'her' name in our conversation. Tf why you don't see?! Dud it's not really bebai sajaa, It's about terasa mann. When I asked her , she like no, he the one who find me when both of 'em not chatting for a long time. I just like whatt, you don't even find me like that.

It's all about hard work man. I tried so mutherfcking hard to get your attention and all of that. I try to be nice with your friends and now what I got? Nothing. All this whole time I am really 'ikhlas'. All things that I'd said is true. I meant it. I'm not used lying to you. I know la she is your junior and her mom is one of the teachers at school. But why you can't be fair and square. Just layan dia sama macam hang layan aku. Why you can't do that? I don't even understand. When you'd a trip to KL, you don't even tell me, but you told her. I cried when I know that and just asked nan about that. But he's supporting you. Nothing I can do about that.

So you expected me to remain silent and not disturbing people like used to. Okay fine let me do it if that what you want. She have what you want and she'll give what you asked. Yes she is really nice and me was bad. You'd turned me into someone that I promised that I'll not be. I'm not used to hate people and now. I hate everyone. If I'd a gun in my hand, I swear I 'll shoot every people around me. I'm all alone right now. I'm scared. Scared to do anything that I want. Scared to turned out who I want to be. Born to please people. It's sucks. I want ro read books, I want to do addmath. I want to do doodles. I don't want to reply my message. Let me drown. Cuz' that what you want. That's what
 her want. Do you feel better now> ? The annoyed person who always be there for you will fading away. You will not feel anything cuz'.. hang ada hati ka smpai tak consider langsung?

But one things is, all of our secrets all this time, I'll keep that in my mind only. I'll never let people know cuz I'm not that evil. Not that evil to let people down. Not that evil to let people cry because of me . Not that evil to take someone's crush. Not that evil to take what people owns. Not that evil to left someone hanging. Goodluck with your life and all of that. Thanks for the time you put on me.



So now I'm downloading adobe reader so I can open the answer for Physic's module. Lol. 2 more weeks man. SPM is on their way like me no ready yet bruuuh !! Last paper is engineering drawing at 4 Dis !! Oh Lord. So anyway I decided to take aviation for my further study. Maintenance duh. haha Amin. 

So anyway today is super awesome ... I mean AWESOME! First thing first is I saw my crush sat on the chair beside the hall with his head down because he was so sleepy zzzz. Yeah his PT3's exam is over so.. he and XBOX becomes gf and bf and I'm just the decoration of the relationship lulz. So yesterday I was watching Insiduous 2 and all the "terkejut" part was scaring me off so I totally whatsapping him asking him to stay a lil bit late that night just to keep accompany me through the haunted night lol. At first he just like refusing to do so but he did it. Uhm maybe that's why he was so sleepy this morning. umm

Anyway, this evening I got extra class at school. So, Ain, Lieya, Mukhriz and me go out together and there's sarah just 'ehem' from the other side of the road. Like godamnit sarah! hahahaha.duk ada ja. Then we've been chillin around, talking about future.. kucai aku ramai2 just because I've dark skin. Well, ulat beluncas will turn out to be butterflies soon. Wait and see kayh. Lol. We all have to attend extra class throughout this holiday. Haih sabaaarr.. One more thing, at school just now, usually I'll kucai muhammad if I'd seen him.. so I saw him and kucai, hahaha he was eating biscuits that time and started to suap me that biscuit. hahah 'suap me' bahasa apa tu?! wkwkwkwk lantaklah. Then I'd asked ameer to go to prom ok no just kidding.. asked ameer about muhammad's no. Nak tnya soalan math lah wer. Ameer said that.. hang x dak no dia ka? and I just.. if I ada his number why I ask you meercat? lulz His reply just threw me into awkward situation. "alololo nak ker?" ... mmm no komen lah. alololo words is better when my crush using it not meercat. 

Oh this morning at prefect's room. They all like talking about Najwa and long-head picture together and I just bebai la kat dia. Actually nak jugak tangkap gambar ngan dia tapiiii.. I knew dia tak nak.. sampai mampus pun tak nak. benci lah haih. haish I've to leave now with all this post tergantung.. so byee :*

You chat with her. She win. I'm losing. It really crushed my heart. All these positive thinking that I taught for all this whole time.. Its liar. You lied. I know she's prettier than me fine.  And now, let it just be between you and her. I'm backing out. After this, if you need any helps, just go ask  her and not me.

Can you imagine; every night crying for no reasons and regrets it by the next morning. Even crying in the middle of prayer because of thought how great GOD is. He pull the people that you loves in the blink of the eyes. There's must the reasons but idk why. I don't always complain about God's decision but when I do.. I'll completely breakdown and started crying uncontrollably because how much you love or miss  that person. You can't get 'em back. For him, look does matter in his life and I'm fcking sure one fine day he'll regret it.

I go to school everyday with no motivation. Now school is just.. teachers, books, friends, exams. No you. I feel like giving up everyday but thinking about my annoying friends especially sufi.. I put that plan in the last line in the list. Sufi doesn't even give up asking me about what you'd done to me but I kept my mouth shut by saying "xdk apa okay jer :)."

She's lucky to have that fox who will always supporting her even he told me about the giving up stuff because sufi doesn't give him any chance to prove his love.. I'm the one who told him to not giving up for something you want but now. I'm the one who give up. I think I belongs to alone thingy. Not deserve for the community that full of perfect human. I'm happy to be alone because being crowded is just like human zoo. Trying to impress each other. Showing off what they got. Revenge. I'm not belong there. 

Once upon a time, everyday I'll fought my negative side aka my demons who always proving me that he's not the one. He just a bitch. garik. But now, I stopped fighting with 'em because.. we're on the same side now. No need to fight. Just make the things worst so our heart could feel the taste of heaven. 

SPM is nearly approaching. That's my focus zone now. Anyway, goodluck with your exam. I don't even care about how great your grade was. Just keep that thing and tell najah only. I'm only care for people like meman hazwan the fox ... so on. Those guy, for them, look does not matter but.. heart is. IMPORTANT. I hope najah could give you letter the way I do, sending that message... stalking you even telling you that you're handsome everyday. Even you're doing bad, she just say you the best. Try la cari ada ke tak. I'm fading. There's no way to return the faded thing unless you're pro in editing. goodluck.


So happy birthday Delilah!! And Kieran Gibbs ; not forgetting my gorgeous friend farisha. Happy birthday retis... So there's something happened yesterday and I can't get over it because I still in shocked. I was thinking that he hate me and have forgot about my existence as we met as school, he'll never looked at my face neither talk to me :( Ok let's the story begin

I was in the library waiting Anis to finish her prayer. So I'm boring an started browsing twitter as he and zahir came in. My hearts beats like crazy man. I was acting cool even I can felt like my heart began to shatter in pieces. He talked to zahir and started walking towards the door. I was like.. okay he hate me while suddenly. ( my head was down that time, I don't even has guts to put my chin up) he stopped in front of me.. (he was so closed!!!) and started messing around with my phone by sliding his mighty finger on it and I just said 'aipp!!' and smile at me as he go away. OMG That smile. I missed it. I wanna feel that smile again.

And now I got that message.. wkwkwk ok like this, He's gonna be  'manja' and naughty with me when no ones around. If there're people, we both will acting strange like I hate you and you hate me. This is kinda...emm cute? I was so over the moon yesterday and I can't stop smiling sampai anis kucai. hahaha I just too happy man. An one more, I TALKED TO ZAHIR PERSONALLY YESTERDAY! haha first time. My voice was shaky and he replied my question with smile.. his politeness is A+++. OMG I thought that yesterday will be a day to remember. Thanks for showing me that you still remember me. heheh byee 

That's it

That's it. Now it's 12.33am and here I am. Giving you hint for the upcoming future. Now playing I need you by N-Dubz. I.. just talked to Hazwan via ws. Both of us had deal. He'll keep all my secret. Hey you.. yes you. I just wanna tell you that..

Idk whether you're 'ikhlas' or not to be friends with me or you just stick to the plan. That 3 November will come and the day is the end. I know, everyday every minutes I'm being annoying as hell towards you but I really promise that one. You'll never find or read "Nur Deanna" or "DynoWanted" appears in your timeline. Neither facebook or wechat. I'll dissapears and brings along this heartbroken feelings. That unwanted feelings, I'll take that with me too. No one will find me after that.. even ain and liya. I know I'll lose everything, even friends and memories. It's golden but I'd to let it go. I must be selfish. I must save myself. Idk whether we'll gonna meet one day or not after this. The last day of school. I'll give you something. That's the highlight of our relationship. Thanks for giving me your time.. your pieces of heart. Don't worry about mine. I'd take those shattered pieces and glued it back even it feels like a dozen of knife hitting your back. Why I do this even I know that you don't even care at all. I'm a human. My heart can change. But my love toward you never faded. I can promise that. I'll always stalking your profile but you will not even realize. 

That day will come. The day when our conversation is not on top anymore. The day when all dynowanted account shut down. I'll miss Meman, Ajiq, Ramsey, Pak Non, Musang etc. Everything will be faded. I'm sorry for disturbing you. For making your life messed up. Sorry


It's raining and I'm listening to Calvin Harris's new song ft John Newman. Sound so good man! Back to the main topic.. Yesterday, after finished Chemistry's tuition at Papa Lee's house whoop whoop. I'm staying at Ain's crib. Ain's mom cooked "goreng pisang" for me. dap oo. haha We've planned to go to McD afterwards but I'd to follow Ain and her family go to "kenduri". 

Lol for the first time I'm riding Volvo's new car model. Abang ipar Ain drive lajuu ooo. haha Then Bella sent us message written that she'd arrived there and we still at the kenduri. I asked her to play playground and took selfie first because we are on the way back home. While at the kenduri, I still remembered that I'm the only one who wore jeans and plaid shirt lolz vogue siaa. The kenduri was so bored, ye la bukan adik beradik I pun.. so instead of making grumpy faces at Ain's family.. I just whatsapping 'ss'. He's at Sg. Petani t.t Thnks 'ss' sudi layan I yang tengah bosan papoi time tu.

Arrived at Ain's crib, solat per semua then we walked to McD. It's heavily raining. The rains have no mercy on us. haha. There, we found Bella and her sister lemau. haha She waited for 2 hours man at McD. Sorry sweetie. haha Then Haziq arrived. All of us studying chemistry until my phone going crazy. It's 6pm and my father arrived driving van! seriously tho, I am not ashamed because it's cool per your father drives van instead of gloomy car. Hahaha my father had some? x marah ker? haha dia xder. Gi jejalan Keyel with two lil bros celebrating the end of upsr.. ending sangat kena reseat balik. haha padan. 

So yeah, oh and one more thing.. I've created one istagram's account just for personal reason. When the time has come, I'll hand that account to this one person. I don't know whether he's gonna appreciate that or not. hmm thats it bye!


So today my English teacher asked us to write an essay describing a person that you loves. So this is mine.

p/s: don't laugh unless you are him

  First time when I saw him, he was dressed up smart in his school's prefect uniform. He is looking attractive and a little bit chubby and not forgetting he is cute even he is short. I never thought that he is short because in picture he looks tall but nevermind; no one dead because of this cause. He has round face and spiky hair. (at that time lah)

  I got to know him in Facebook when he added and commented at one of my pictures (his friend's pic) in my profile's gallery. I'm the one who started the conversation. (LOL) From that day, we both chatting in Facebook messenger until that day I'm asking his phone's number. I thought that he never gave his private information to strangers but.. he does! I added him in Whatsapp and we chatted almost everyday.. no ; everyday and I'm the one who will started the conversations. (sedihnya) 

  From the conversation, I knew that he likes to play outdoor games such as football, badminton and lawn bowl. He even represent the Perlis team to the national level and won the first place for team category in lawn bowl games at Ipoh, Perak. (ceyy) He loves Liverpool football team so much more than me (kdak) and he could easily mad if I insulted his favorite team. (just for fun je pun kena marah jugak) .

  He loves making new friends until at some points I easily got jealous even we are just being friends. (hmm) Apart from that, he loves Katy Perry so much because her voice is so beautiful and pretty. (cliche lah for the boys) I even tried to sent him audio of my voice singing Katy Perry's song but I just cancelled that plan because if I did, neither he couldn't sleep for the rest of the days or he will hate me forever due to my terrible voice. (padahal suara I dengan Ariana Grande xder beza pun; telinga dia jer problem) 

  Things that he dislikes is when a person lied or do not trust him. He is not gamer person. He'' always being there to support me during thick and thin situation even I'm always make him mad almost everyday.. no; every seconds. He's a patient person that he can always hold his tempers whenever I'm being annoying. There's one day that he was losing his temper due to his bad mood or i don't know, he's stop replying my messages and I was so scared to death that I would losing him forever. I even sent him an apologizes letter that full with regret words. Several hours after that, we both being back together. (LOL) 

  So, throughout the relationships, I'm knowing him better day by day. Oh and he's a cat-lovers too. (cute 100%) I started friend with him at 1 March 2014 (11.42pm) (lol hafal cek oii) and the relationship is still strong and even more strong day by day. (oceeaq) Even he's two-years younger than me but age doesn't define maturity. (che ta buleh kenapa kita tidak? kahkah!) I am so blessed to get know and have him as a part of my life. I hope this relationship last-longing. SS xoxo




This blog seems inactive, boring and pointless. Hmm nothing. But first, lets cheer xx I'd finished my SPM's trial. Dayyum, I went through 2 hectic weeks struggled with exams thingy and today it'd ended with Chemistry's subject. Yippiee.. but I'd decided to take a day off and started all over again tomorrow. SPM belum habis lagi bruh. So what'd happened during this hectic weeks? Ahaaa as usual, me and 'masalah' having fight over and over again.. I can't call it a day if I don't have any fight with him. Apart from that, me, anis and bang den presented our team's work in front of the juries and mofo students from other schools. It was really spontaneous and I can feel my voice sounded soft and 'perempuan melayu terakhir' via that microphone. I hate that thang. duhh... But that day, kita orang tak ambil subjek agama and sejarah. Luckily there's an angle sanggup informed leaked question. You da real WVP. //wipe tears.

And that 'my life is a joke' part is when the day after tomorrow. Our team's leader aka physic's teacher or you can call him 'headmaster of 5 Arif juvenile members' told us that third place is ours. Damn, we got $$$, trophies, sijil and etc. The next week which is Isnin haritu.. Me anis and band den had to receive the prize on stage. That morning was so cold. I'm shivering. Luckily that angel always available beside me... haha she replaced my place, she's the one who took the prizes behalf of me. lololol I swore that I'll never being on that stage in front of other students. Nope just no... After that, Jamil took photo of us holding our presents.. lololo dengan 'meman' ada kat situ. Maluu itewww. Oh and my 'masalah' and his f3's gang had PT3's trial and I'm the one who helped them with Malay and English's subject. Aduh silap bagi information kat meman sampai dia terbuat salah. Dah mintak maaf tahap infiniti dah but he just replied with 'x pa :3.. aku guna frasa menarik hang dalam karangan'. Oh that boy.. gaming ja. If one fine day I've that type of husband, I'll hide that mofo motherboard at hidden place so he couldn't find it and he'll treat me better. emm nahh, I'll let him doing thing that he likes. lol

So tomorrow is Arief's birthday. Happy birthday dude. Even I'm a stranger to you, haha but you adik kekasih gelap I. haha. I decided to give him kit kat and nips chocs tmr. I hope he'll like it even it's just a simple gift.Oh one more thing, pak non just accepted my fb's friend request and just likee whaaaat?? *naughty smile emoji* lol abaikan. Just now I just watched 'the great gatsby' movie .Damn Leonardo DiCaprio is so .. sex I mean.. sexy... What he'd been eating? His physical appearance is so godamn perfect. Even tengok cerita tu separuh ja.. Am holding tears so hard. HAHAHA romantic siaa.. being berangan about me and 'masalah' even he dun fcking care. Please love me boleh tak. TT_TT I always caught him stared at me whenever we passed by each other at school and I kept telling him that I've short-sightness eyes problem. Scumbag eyes. I always looked after him so damn 'teliti'. Lol. I'll make sure that no one will get his attention towards me.. why? because i love him so much even people keep judging me like hell. 'peduli pa' . hmm Idk how this thing kept going cuz I really leave this love thing to faith. Let God decided :( He knows the best for us. hmm It 12 am already and I've to sleep esok shekolah. bubyee :3

I Dare You

So this is gonna be a very short post cuz' I still have one folio that need to be done asap. Ok let's go straight to the point. Yeah I dare You. I dare 'masalah'. Hehehe I know this thing will kinda ermm seems stupid but why not.

So I sent messages's to him via wc saying that.. yeah i like you but you don't like me. But you do know that I'm having crush towards you. So if you are brave enough and very pretty sure that I'm not his future wife.. let's make a bet. One day if we are marry with each other, he will take me to London and watch Arsenal's game live at Emirates Stadium; but if he.. marry with someone else (alamak sedihnya :( ) I will take him to London to watch his favorite football team. 
After dealing. I told long-head about the bet (saksi la kononnya) and he said 'nak ikut'. ahaha gediknyewwzz You know la.. kekadang long-head tu suka buat orang sakit hati.. he said.. " beg nak ikut hampa pi liverpool dah siap dah ni". Kuajar mung. Another deal is. hehehe

If one day, finally me and 'masalah' become husband and wife. I'll take his friends in that 'kelab gentleman's group' to liverpool too.

long-head said. 'hmm pakai x pi dah kami'. wkwkwk nasib hampa la. yeah it seems childish and so.. tumblr? haha anyway we'll see. In 5 years, everything can change, there'll be plot twist. Maybe puberty will hit me hard.. (oceeeaq)

So that's it, ok I'm gonna go now cuz' my people need me. zussss (bye)


SHR guys.
(Selamat Hari Raya) so yeah.. yeah hi. Dah hari kedua raye and me sitting here doing nothing. Lagi dua minggu trial. Alolo. Hmm Tak prepare apa pun kud. Keja online merapu ngan montel ja. Montel 2 dia pun bagi tiru folio addmath. Thanks bruh. erm yeah. Everything were fcked up and yeah. I promised to myself TO NOT complained about it cuz Allah know what He is doing and this is the best for me I hope. Amin.

So yah, even-though that my "soon-to-be-my-bae" is gone so I hidup sendirae lah. Sedih ayat. But nevermid, I have atap-zinc that I know he is always be there even I'm happy sad mad or confused. Lol I like to disturb his bae in twitter. And yup, she is cool. That girl gonna be success in life not like me. Ang 'long-head'. I'm like astaghfirullah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah. why is this guy so cute. Even he is my junior aka friend but, his future wife will be so lucky as hell to have him as her husband!! Nakk jugak but me is not his type. Sorry dean, you're out from his league. Ouch! So just now he just acting not to be serious while I'm sad as hell cuz that guy..that guy left me.. blerghhh. My level of geram sama level macam nak gigit long-head. He is such a lady boner type. (pardon me) so yah I just sent him a nice photo of my sexy toe to him with caption "tak lama hokni naik atas muka hang" and he just said.. "lol kaki hang ka? sanggup tangkap gambar sent". I know lah his toe is so motherfcking flawless like cinderella sial but yeah.. suka perli deep kaw kaw. ergh

musang ok that musang.. He is pretending like he is doing some revenge to me and sufi as last week we're not replying his text. Like mogok la. But it is fun to see him gelabah, takut, and he do apologizes to me and sufi like tonnes of times but yeah. Nak buat caner bitch mode: fcking ON. And now, he is ignoring us like.. he 'anggap' that we really need him and will die if he doesn't reply our text but sorry my dear.. peduli per kita orang. haha even he likes sufi. But hey, sufi is me. And me is sufi. huh. suck that. Erm apart from that, just now I just sent to zahir that typical raya message and it turned out to be 'seen' only. Haih, zahir is not impressed. huwaaaaa TT_TT So I just ngadu at long-head about that seen problem and he said.. "aku sent pn dia seen ja". Yeah... //fireworks we both have been friendzoned by zahir. Dayyum. So interesting. *rape face* hahahahahahahahahahaIneedlife

But really now, I just don't kow how to act normally when the school is open next week cuz I don't feel like schooling anymore. Haih, why this happened hah. My soul is not ready and my body too. This is too much. I need my convo right now. Wait, do I have convo? ok no. huwaaaa. yeah your life is so short to be sad bak kata twitter. But I want to be sad too no matter what. *inhales heavily* why this internet is so slow like siput khinzir hah. I want too play dota 2 asap. I need to chill my mind before that fcking kelas tambahan start. From Monday to Sunday kelas tambahan. It's like nanti your house is gonna be your RnR only and school is your house. Why don't we bring along our tent and set up at school's field. Cuz sekolahku syurgaku. So we will be at syurga everyday. (no offence) anyway, goodluck to '97 and '99 as well for our trial. Just slat that thing off and live your mofo life. K. Dean bye.


I lost my words. Yep. Sufi told me everything what to do and not to do but there's me. Head Stone aka ketegaq. Orang nasihat galak tak mau ikut. And now padan muka. For hundredth times I said 'padan muka' to mysdelf. Nah.. I just sad. Sad life part 2 is. Meer.. I just like.. suka suka macam tu ja. Not that damn serious feelings like toward 'masalah'.. 

The thing is.. why must I be the one who is UNLUCKY. I just like 'sentap'. That's why I'm being quiet at school. That one thought always keep spinning in my head. Maybe I just deserve this. I deserve this since I was 13. Starting from anif until now..I just keep reminding myself. Stop.. you just reached the final destination. Stop looking and live your life but.. that.. that masalah. I'm thinking about him all the time sampai dalam kelas nak nanges. 

Maybe I should be alone. yeah. no one halang pun. Negative thought. Selama ni aku asyik buat tau tak tau ja negative thought tu sampai sufi cakap kat aku tadi.. " hang saja kan buat buat tak tau dia nak smpaikan apa". Ya sufi aku tau dia nak kata apa. Tapi tu la.. Me ain't pretty at all. Gelap. Gemuk. Bangang pulak tu.Asyik kena bahan ja dalam kelas. I wish I could turn back time. I wanna rewatch my life since I was 13, 14, 15, 16.. Do I bad enough? I just tegur my kawan buang sampah pun dia mental. 

Aku macam.. dah ah. Orang macam ni patut ka aku layan tapi.. aku..sumpah weyh rindu. Dalam rindu pecah 3 bahagian. and so on. cerita sampai esk tak habis. Oh and about meer.. memula macam ok. Asyraf maybe slaah tengok kud. Than today.. I saw in front of my own eyes. Their ',mesra'. Meer just tickled that girl's face with paper and I just like. ok. fine. bye. im done. Aku bencilah. Aku buat apa sampai semua orang jadi cenggini. I just want supi. Talking with her for hours about boys. But that is only a wish. bye.



yehey lagi berapa hari nak raya and at the same time hello trial. haaih suck it up laah.So, hi guys.. whatchu doin'? Me? naah nothing. Actually aku just nak luah perasaan ja..kalau nak cerita face to face dengan orang lain mesti kena judge teruk. ye lah., he is a lot younger than me so..hmm I'm not replying his message since yesterday.. Aku just 'terasa' Aku tau.. aku tak laa lawa macam mira snow white tapi I'm a human too. Sufi pun macam nasihat aku suruh move on. Tapi jujurlah aku cakap.. i miss him. like I'm typing that I miss him and just kept looking at that sentence and then I delete balik. He seems doesn't care at all. So qiqi just wsep me saying that he said to him that I was merajuk cuz he have conversation with supi. Haih '-- But what is my mistakes. He left me just like that and pretending like.. kau pikirlah sendiri apa yang kau dah buat.

And then yesterday.. he sent 'maaf' to me. I know.. that is ayat tergantung which i dislike much. In capital letter sufi said 'DONT REPLY'. and yeah, i do follow her words. But my mind keep struggling. nak reply ke tak nak.. but IF i reply he'll say.'xdk apa,awat, ok, alright ,bye' sakit hati der. Seems like selama ni macam nak tak nak ja sembang ngan aku. Like I'm questioning about his level of ikhlas. I want to cry but do this guy deserve my tears? So, I'm asking musang about what do guys think when the sent sorry.. he said maybe nak jaga hati, depend on that person or he... really mean it.I know sometime he is kejam macam nak mampus. You know what.. i turn on my bitch mode so yeah.. pretend like I don't care but reality is.. i still 'usha' him.

Duh., at one point bila dah rasa macam gila aku nak reply lah.. I will go to fb and kacau 'longhead'. lol. he's funny sometime even kat sekolah nampak macam boring gila. Suka send emoji muka menyampah, yeah, sama macam muka dia lah. So i added his friend.. muahaha let me wrote his name as 'nan' lah yer.. lulz. "i panggil mak i ummi". Astaghfirullah. Someone please kipas me because damn gurl he's so fine.fuh. Last friday, I was  accompanying siti waiting for his mum to arrive and I saw nan. When I saw him.. walking
down the street.. he look so fine.. I just cant believe....all that I can say was mmmyeah yeah.. thanks austin for da lyrics. hahahaha dia nak jadi sawan dah. Aand he looked at me and boom! pregnant. wkwkwkkwkwkwk jkjkjk. He's so nice actually even kat sekolah buat muka serupa celaka.. you know. Tidak mengenal erti senyum. lewls.. nanti aku tlg ajaq

so anyway.. I miss you 5Y42 TT_TT but you're playing. main2. eyy nyampahnyaa! Sufi advised me by saying that he is not the one. you deserve someone better. Madro too. He said that tak sesuai laa aku ni jenis manja tahap pokok mangga while him jenis tak ambik kisah. It really hurts. Sufi asked..'hang terasa kan aku cakap gini'.I said no. pergh pembohongan yang paling nyata dan haih.. haih.. i just dont know what to do right now. hm bye.

  • I do reply his text. Saiaaa taak kuat!!
  • So, once upon a time when I was 14. I have major crush toward Nan's brother. 
  • Nan unfriend me. ba ba ba bi
  • so iffa broke up with fcker
  • atap zink love me!! hahaha i know he just doing stupid joke.
  • longhead makin gedik
  • I called nan 'bighead' aka fckface
  • I love physics xoxo


fuh fuh..//tiup habuk. Happy fasting you guys. Dah bulan puasa.Raya kelapan trial. Havoc giler sekolah aku buat awal bapak trial. Anyway, too many stories I'm gonna tell you guys.. but hmm.Let me start with Result exam pertengahan tahun.Hmmm ok la meningkat la jugak 1 fail jer.. addmath puaka tu punya pasal. LK cukup makan ja T_T fml. A- Sej dengan english.come on laa 5A ke atas laa kalau craving nak masuk utp.Abang aku pun dah start motivate aka bebel via wechat jumaat ritu.Rindu aku le tew. 'Yang' aka masalah pn motivate aku jugak. Thanks ler awak even selalu badmood or x der mood ~.~ dia punrilek jer aku tgk dengan pt3 yang renyah tahap. Anyway.. even result meningkat.. still kena marah. Questioning about my LK 
and my addmeth result. Idunno how to tackle that subject tho. haa dh start dah dia punya from today kenapulun laa puan dyno oi. pfft. Dengan internet serupa celaka caner aku nak stadi tgk cg romie tu stadi lk. t.t And 3 bulan broo; 3 bulan x der cikgu math ngan addmath. sekolah dermalah darah anda memang sempoi. hmm

Next, majalah sekolah. Aduh minggu ni suara aku dah serupa cakra khan. penat bertekak pasal nak ambik gambar. First session azri ngan qib x der. Lindung batang pokok laa.. dahan pokok laa. Yang cerdik nak jugak location tu dah kenapa. haha. session kedua ada sekali guru kelas. Rozillian. haa. Baru tau dia sempoi ambik selfie dengan madro. Jangan didelete gambar tu sampai bila-bila.Dengan shahmin duk centre.. madro jadi batang monopod.lulz. Pastu kan kan.. hokni aku eksaited.Kelab inovasi session. aku duk sebelah meer. maigodd finally. //tabur bunga. he's so mm.. buleh laa.. tapi lepas tu aku gaduh ngan dia. derek .-. ho laa duk sembang kata malas laa apa laa.. serupa nak tabuh pakai batang penyapu jaa.. malas apa masuk
geng berlian.. pi la hampa berlian tu. Aku rela jadi batu hampar pun x per.Then hasrat nak ambik gambar ngan model playboy pun tak kesampaian. malu laa apa laa.. yang penting "starbucks i punyer" kk nis jangan tabuh aku. yang dia baca sajiss. perks of having blog that no one knows about it existence/.

Apart from that.. haa kuiz kimia. gilew if form 1 deanna know about this.. lol. waktu lower form aku laa yang paling banyak menyumpah kat subjek sains. bukan apa.. dah x minat and cikgu yang ajaq tu pn x buat aku minat. so how? lol. aku sahut laa seruan ain suruh join. Sebab meer join. tediaa tak ikhlas. kk saja cuba nasib. x pass pun bukan cg kimia nak ligan aku satu sekolah. watlek watpis. And haritu ada mini sukan laa katakan. 'masalah' tu join perbarisan. Aku nak tengok tapi siti ngan iffa ibarat nenek kebayan tak tahan panas. Teman laa liya date dengan amyay dia tu. Tunglaa set2 ada bf.'masalah' tu pn hmm aku x tau.. aku kata aku syg skgi dia marah.. keja marah orang. awat panggil 'masalah'? cuz it funny.. masalah sent a 
message.. masalah called.. masalah ... haha k. kekadang dia buat org happy, merajuk, marah, menyampah.. masalah really do that.. so that is why i called him masalah.. he called me alien. elok la dua orang jadi lagutu. Oh and you know what, there WAS a form 1 student like  me. nokharomm. he;s really creepy from my opinion. pastu dia main2. ingat elok kud main2 perasaan orang. Masalah tu bt banyak kali dah pastu dia kata dia tak main2. Buleh mati pikiaq.lulz. but now.. dia dh stop hantar wc mintak gambar laa apa la.. i tau laa i comel tapi jangan la laguni kan.. pfft. kdakdak x comel

Syd,. hmm i think i shud call him syed rm2 cuz anytime i selisih dengan dia.. mesti minx rm2 even now is Ramadhan. beli apa tah budak ni. hey still remember atap zink? masih hidup jangan risau. orang pakai lenovo lamalaa.. duk selfie ja. rambut tajam2. lulz. Nasib rambut masalah aku sisip tepi jaa.. comey oo. actually aku perangat dia jaa.. bukan gemuk tara mana pun. badan dia naik sikit jaa.. pakai blazer namoak ramping gitu. gugat iman aku,, saia taak kuaat awaaak.lulz. come on laa.. 2 tahun kud. hmm fine sufi fine. tapiii.. im done looking lorh. Aku couple dgn bdk cina ranking first tu mau terkejut semua orang. Cinta dua darjat. hahahahahahaha buleh pi sajissss lagi lama lagi aku merepek. kbyebye



Ey Happy Birthday to me.. (Habis loner ucap besday kat diri sendiri) So yeah, Oficially 17 right now.And I'm fine. Can I quit now? lulz. If there're wishes to me at fb. well thanks. But I don't think I do. Do I have friends there? okay okay. So on this day.. ( Aku set timer kat post ni.. publish on 11 june) Bak kata bumbung zink.. harini hari sbtu... bkn besday

Dear nobody; yeah I'm alien. Don't ever stalk this blog cuz you will muntah pelangi. 4 years blog ni.. I do have my own phase. lol. Bahasa kiasan yang agak blergh.. buleh maki kalau nak. Kalau stalk rasa tersinggung. Tanggung lerr.. hehe okep bye sambung tidur :p



Sambungan post haritu.. lols tak habih habih lagi. After that sad 'oh' moment.. now, I'm suffering 'sakit tekak' + demam. Papapadan muka. Tak elok balas dendam and semalam I just realised.. penyakit suka bebai, merajuk and over jeles.. I got that from my mother. K. So I just text sya and told her how hurt I am. ocee kahkahkah, Lamalaaa, Without thinking lebih panjang.. I just said.. ' aku harap dia kahwin ngan orang gila'. Then sya replied.. "macam mana kalau orang gila tu hang?" Sentap duh. Pikiaq dua hari belum tentu dapat jawapan. Pastu sya cakap.. 'takpa aku tau hang memang gila pun'. Well thanks. I really need to know that fact. 

And now what I'm doing to keep myself busy? Aku... stadi kimia. study sikit2 lerrr sebab demam. uhukuhuk. And you know what.. I got A- in Sejarah. dayyum. //lap ayaq mata. haha aku lack sikit bab-bab menghafal. I hate paper 2. kena esei pekebenda tah. lulz. Pinggang aku tak habis cramp lagi sebab kes semalam. So I have this habit.. suka type pepanjang kat whatsapp just nak bagi ada 'typing' kat nama tu then delete balik.. so I just wrote that I miss him and than my mom lalu and guess what.. terkejut and ter.. ter..ter 'send'. And tak sempat delete because dah double tick. Tutup internet sat, tawaf keliling rumah sambil fikir.. habis lah aku. bak kata rambut bumbung atap zink.. 'ag ni suka cari pasal'. tak sengaja duh. TT_TT waktu duk jalan tu.. bukan tengok apa dah and terus rempuh bucu kabinet. Rasa macam kena tembak dengan riffle duh. Kelupoq jugak laa. HA HA HA fml. 

So I just wanna say sorry. I wont happened again. I'll give you some space. And yes.. aku pencilkan (penselkan.. #/hambar) diri dari suma orang.. bukan apa.. takuit. Aku ni kan jahat + annoying. // T_T k nobody cares. community these days.. sick. People need me when they need help. But when I do need them.. terus hilang just like that. now, I tend to shut people out. bye



hahahahhaha no. I'm crying like there's no tomorrow. Everything went celaka in just one day. "Its just a bad day.. not a bad life" < if someone ever said that to me.. I'll punched 'em right in the face. Ingat senang kaa.. senang?! Once upon a time, hati ni dah kata.. "tak lama dia buat serupa zarul ngan paiq.." Maybe I was TOO nice that time,, I just ignored that and now.. tadaaaa padan muka hang.. jadi sungguh. I put my trust on you and you betrayed. How dare you.. sanggup noh. duh :) Aku cerita habis kat hang dengan harapan hang tak buat benda yang sama.. but, nerghh.. buat jugakk.. Macam nak bagi award pun ader.

Poyo gilos ayat.. ehee. Selalu aku pendam tulis atas kertas pastu buang dalam tong sampah, Tapi hokni... gila sakit hati padu. Nasib ada atap zink bumbung sekolah duk tengah buat lawak kat aku. Dia pun heartbroken jugak. Buleh tahan vangang gak girls tu. lewls. Anyway, thanks for betraying meee.. lulz. Dah nak nampak dah pattern nak end lagumana tapi saja buat keras kepala anggap itu hanyalah 'negative thought'.. vavinya kau dinooo TT_TT And now aku blurr.. nak buat apa.

Buat apa.. tido je la. I lost EVERYTHING. Yang stayback pun sapa la sangat. Duk keja 'lol' kan aku jer. Baca balik post hok lama.. how excited I am having you in my life. Yang tak nangis sajiss. Sweet apakk korang.. lagi berapa hari nak besday aku.. hampa buat ceni. Sweet cangat. Rasa macam nak terjun bangunan sajaa. I don't feel like living right now. Too broke to live. That one question I asked but you never answered.. but here I am still waiting for the answer.. " Hang ikhlas tak dengan aku..."

Kaa bersalah nak jawab. hah? lolz, bukan ader org nak baca pun post ni.. I'm used to it. mau baca.. bacalah. ehee.. menyesal jumpa hang? Adalah sikit. Tapi sakit, Hang reply ok ja. Rasa macam pistol hok acap guna waktu main dalam counter strike tu tembak kepala aku. Dia punya sakit hati tu.. no words can express it. Tera pegang pensel pun buleh teryak macam haram. #/deep hehe.. tulis panjang2 pun bukan ada yang baca. lol @/me lol @/you lol @/us lol @/them. bye.



Hiii :>
Suprise motherfcker I'm back!! Ok that's so nigga I'll stop right now. "want a boy bestfriend". Fortunately I've one. atap zink bumbung sekolah :)) Kaunselor, kaki gosip semua serah kat dia. Suka merajuk :> I'm glad that he is coming back after we'd a big fight last month. Pretty scary cuz I feel so alone back then. So what about szczesny? he'd changed. I miss the old him. Sakai, always said hee.. duh nevermind. But now... haih. Semua salah aku. Overly attached sangat. And now padan muka. 

But hey.. I've pretty handsome lil sakai 13 years old junior right now. Cheeky. Semua baik ngan aku. Bersyukur gila. Kawan kelas aku pun baik. 5 Arif '14' family kedua aku. Hilang satu.. tak paa.. ada banyak support belakang aku. Sometimes I'll get kisses emoji from him oo. Its not like,, omg sweetnya dia aku nak kapel ngan dia. No. That feeling memang tak sampai. I remembered that one night. I'd terrible mental breakdown when szczesny dumped me just like that. I cried. First time wey. Celaka gila feeling aku. Then I told him how I wish I receive 'goodnight' wishes from someone atm. And he replied me with 'haha'. Fcking hate that 'haha' word. It makes the whole things becomes more awkward. Several mins later, I got a message said "goodnight".. It's from nathan katanyaa. I just laughed and things became much better. I fcking love him. I have no regret to be a friend to him. Thank you atap zink rumbia bumbung sekolah :)

How's life? yeah, I'd deleted szczesny, anak semut,  etc from mylife. Its not worth keeping 'em. They hurt me. And pretend like nothing had happened and it kills me slowly. It's killing me but it ain't hurting 'em. So I've new scandal. Thanks to Ain Liya Aina etc for ruining my life. deannanan". Kekejaman tahap radikal. Aku terasa dicabul. Lol. That egg's incident will remain unforgettable memories. Padan muka yiya. Liya with Amri now. Tungler celaka~~~I love my life right now. I learn to appreciate it more. fck them for making me weak but hey.. suprise motherfcke. Idgaf. I wish I care but hey.. I don't. wekk well fck you.


Lie to me

Hello :)
'Carpe diem' means what? I don't know, I just saved that picture because of the image quality :p So yaa.. hai. It's been a long time since I post something in this blog. You know, busying finding the purpose of life. Pfft, ok I lied. I'm having havoc weeks. First examination is suck! Ya, I'm not well prepared for this exam. Insaf oi nak SPM :( Chemistry brought tears to my eyes. Let see if addmath will done the same thing or not I don't know. Yea, it's march already and I am not ready for SPM. Can we turn back time so I could restart over? Okay the answer is no : < Life as senior? The first main thing is, my HEIGHT. I AM... SHORTER THAN FORM 1 STUDENT. Even Zarul said that he thought I'm 14 . Who's Zarul? muehehe.

You know what.. dino got herself a new friend. Aand he's 15. ok not cool just no. I never saw him in my real life. He said he never saw me at school. Yeah. I am holographic. This Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and we all fcking done with the exam. I wanna restart my life all over. I don't want to see that bitch face again. He lied to me. Not once but several times. I couldn't coop with that type of man. He's a player yet rich. Ugh DO RICH PEOPLE NEED TO BE A PLAYER? aaaaahh, I am so stewpid to bewlieve that ew guy. I loss him but hey I got new friend. ok I mentioned about my new friend twice in the same paragraph. Who? Syasyasya shhh. hahahahamaybeIneedmorefriends. Those form 3 students never failed to make me smile/laugh. Sakai semua. rambut bumbung laa, si kacak x kacak la... etc. 5 Arif? what happened? nothing.

We all started bashing amir for his stupid attitude :p Do I need a friend that being emo so easily? Haih.. nowadays Amri's being cute by liking cute kitty/cat post in Facebook. It's such an honor to be one of his friend since 13. Liya call him Pierre Andre cus' their face look alike. And Mat Yus got himself a new smartphone. He started adding people in wechat and sent stupid voice message in whatsapp group. Our whatsapp group name is 'Mat Yus Berkemban'.. haha. how? I don't know. He don't even mind we called him that. Kawan macam inilah yang kita mahu. Gahh, idea oo idea please come to me bae. Oh yes doodles. Teachers, please stop giving us too much homeworks because we all need to breath sometimes.. I mean always! Too mush h/works just stressed me out. Can I become engineers by tomorrow and drive hummer to workplace please? work hard. The only recipe to achieve my dreams. It's 6 pm already. Bye :B
Syasyasyaszczesny :p


Hello :)
First of all, I would like to say Happy Chinese New Year to all my Chinese's friend. OBS,Chong, Vivian, Lee, Sin Hui, Hoho and so on.. Last Tuesday (28/1/14), most of our teachers is absent. Everyone just like, pheww, Syukur. Why? Because we have tonnes of homeworks that we'd to complete. Huh, I hate homework. Aina just play random song in her phone. I'm just sitting there scrolling my phone. Nothing to do la sangaat katanya. After recess, good things is still no teachers coming into our class. The worst part is.. mdro became real insane. He just sang and start dancing all around. Oh and we call him 'Along' and Syamir is 'Abah'. Me? Step mother. kuaja Aina. Mdro start taking selfie. hoaaa, weird part of mdro that I'd never seen. Where's da picture?? Here's some :P

haha.. Our class is the most awesome class than the others. Rancak, Jiwa Kental etc. Still can't believe that this year is our last year being a student. Huu sedeyyy. I'll do anything to make this year 'gempak' than the other years.