22 Nov 2013


Have you ever been thinking like.. what if you're drowning in a vast ocean? What would you do to save yourself from dying? Or you just give up and let God decide whether you're alive or not. I'd experienced this before and I never mentioned this to anyone even my friends doesn't know about this. I've drowned before.. but not in the vast ocean. I must be dead now. That incident happened when I was in primary school. <<standard 6>> My school organised a trip to Langkawi as all of us will face the UPSR exam. Macam trip untuk motivasi laa. It was fun because you know.. all my best friends/classmates are with me. Day 2 in Langkawi.. teachers decided to let us enjoy in the swimming pool. My face doesn't show that I'm worried of everything. My biggest secret that time is.. I don't know how to swim even diving. When I jumped into the pool.. thank god that the water level just like.. keep me safe from any danger situation. But, all my friends are playing at the centre of the pool because the water level there is deep. With my higher confidence level, I just like push my body to the centre of the pool. Let me tell you how it feel when you're drowned in the water.

It feel like how hopeless you're. How weak you're to fight all this thing. I just like.. tried to scream "help" but I was too nervous and panicked. I just hoping that someone will see me dying right there. My thought during that time is just a flashback what my parent look like, remembering what they'd said to me, my happiest moment with my friends and beloved people, and all I can see is water above me and I'd breathing problem because I'd no enough air. I just like imagine that my parent are crying when looking at my dead body. When all my hope is fading suddenly I heard someone called my beautiful name <<hukalohh pfft>>  "HANIS!" then I felt someone grabbed my hand to the side of the pool. And I just like.. take a breath and cough so hard. My head dizzy. I looked everywhere to find who's saving me just now// I see nothing. Everyone seems so happy and didn't realised that I'm drowning just now. No one knows I'm drowned. hergh @#$%^& I'd such a GREAT friends tbfh.Actually, I knew the person that saved me. After he grabbed my hand and pushed me to the side of the pool, he just left. And yeah, he's a guy and after that incident. He pretended that he never saved me. That one moment when I'm drowned that day, I only remembered this until today, and this keep haunting me like forever.. when I'm drowning, I realised how many sins that I've done .. sin against my parent, teachers, friends and everybody.. Am I going to heaven or hell. I was hoping for one chance to apologize to my parent and everybody. I was so not ready to meet my creator.

And today I realised. God have gave me chance that day. He sent someone to save me. And I'm sitting here like nothing to do. I'm still make my parent angry with me. How ungrateful I am. Didn't appreciate what He gave me before. I feel guilty. I'd broken my promises. O Allah please forgive me what I've done :(  That incident had happened 3 years ago but I still can remember how it feel, how hopeless I'm, knowing that nobody will help you. You'll never realise how lucky you're to have parent, siblings,friends and etc until something knocked you down and nobody will help you. I've experienced that :) before this, I said so much bad things about my parent such as.. my mother talk too much, always judging me.. but now. I appreciate her and the people around me :) 

Dear people;
don't judge people by his/her appearance/ tweet. You'll never know someone until you talk with that person. Like me, the first time I met Liya I assumed that she is arrogant by her face. You know, she always make that 'morning' face that we've do something wrong with her. But when I talked to her.. she is actually pretty funny, open-minded and you know.. she is good friend. So people, stop judging people like you're perfect. If someone judging you.. just fck em' because you're cool and they're jealous with your 'coolness'.



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